[caandii]

So I took a test yesterday and it was positive. I've already made my first appointment and scan. I haven't told my mom yet and she wants us to go out drinking at the weekend. She will be very disappointed in me as my younger sister is about 6 and a half months pregnant and she says she wants me to get a good job and not 'ruin' my life by having kids. What should I do?

[DoulaLC]

Either tell her in person, or write a note and hand it to her in person. Simple acknowledge that you made a mistake and that you realize she is going to be upset and disappointed. Let her know that you hope that she will be able to offer you support at some point as you will need that support.

Before you let her know, make some decisions about how you are going to handle the situation. Be able to tell her how you are going to finish school, if that is an issue. What you will do for work. What the baby's father will be doing. If he is in the picture, the two of you should tell her together. Let her know that you have given it serious thought, and while it will be challenging, you are willing to do what it takes to do well at it.

School and work can always be done while pregnant and/or after baby arrives. It doesn't mean it has to end your goals, it just alters them or postpones a few things.

[Fr_Chuck]

So how old are you ? Are you in a serious relationship ?
Often the daddy and you would talk to her and tell her. But if you can't a email or text if nothing else

[FirstChair]

So, you are at least 21 years old and still in your mother's house? I assume your father is not available for you. However, you are an adult... if not, then an under-age drinker of which if so, your mother is not setting a good example allowing you to drink and go clubbing or hit the bars with her. What do you use for an I.D. your older sister's identification? Wait a minute; your sister is younger than you, if so, you are not using her I.D. How are you getting alcohol then? If you are pregnant it is your responsibility and the responsibility of the male who got you that way. If you are expecting, I hope you will carry the child to full term and do what is best for the innocent baby, even if it means allowing someone to adopt her/him. If you decide to keep the baby, enroll and attend parenting classes before baby is born. I wish you well for the baby's sake and for you to be a caring and loving mother... the same for your sister too. Take care~

[indya]

Just tell her. Later she will definitely come to know.

About 'ruining' your life by having a child... I guess it all depends on how you choose to act in this situation. Your mom may be initially 'disappointed' in you, but I am sure she'll turn around pretty soon.

The sooner you break the news to her, the better it will be for you to concentrate on important things like caring for your health and preparing for the future.


On a completely different note, FirstChair, loved your deduction :D
Made me laugh..!

[caandii]

Ok first of all I've just turned 20. I live in Scotland, the legal drinking age here is 18.
I have finished school and been to college. Was planning on going back soon.
As far as the baby's father is concerned he's happy about the baby but says he has nothing to do with my mom so I'll have to tell her myself. He's 29 so I hope he'll be supportive of me.
I definitely plan on keeping the baby.

[need2ask]

I know you are very scared right now. I know how that feels. I was 14 yrs old when I had to tell my mother. Your sister is pregnant and your mom is venting her frustration about her pregnancy with you I'm sure because she obviously views you as a friend.(going out together for drinks etc.) am I right? Well I hope so. Anyway... You might be surprised with your mothers reaction. YES it will be a shock to her, more so because your sister is pregnant also. I was terrified to tell my mother! I made my boyfriend drive around the block 8 times before even pulling up to the house but when I told her, the reaction was not as bad as I thought it would be. Yes, she was sad and worried for me due to my age and school etc. but I built up a fear higher than it needed to be because she didn't react as I thought she would, instead we built a stronger bond. Eventually my boyfriend turned into my husband and they both got along just fine! All I'm saying is, You have made the decision to keep the baby. You might as well get the shock over so you can get passed it quicker and have less stress on you in your first trimester.
Best wishes for you and your new family!

[caandii]

Thank you so much. Yeah your right my mom is like my best friend. The thing is that I really need her right nw because me and my boyfriend constantly hv big problems and right now am nt sure if he's evn my boyfriend, so I reli need my moms support.

[need2ask]

Thank u so much. Yeah ur right my mom is like my best friend. The thing is that I really need her right nw cos me nd my bf constantly hv big problems nd right now am nt sure if he's evn my bf, so I reli need my moms support.

Well then like a band aide the faster you do it...
Good Luck!

[FirstChair]

Ok first of all I've just turned 20. I live in Scotland, the legal drinking age here is 18.
I have finished school and been to college. Was planning on going back soon.
As far as the babys father is concerned he's happy about the baby but says he has nothing to do with my mom so i'll have to tell her myself. He's 29 so I hope he'll be supportive of me.
I definitely plan on keeping the baby.

Well that's a sad thing, young people drinking at such an early age, but I assume it is beer and not hard liquors, leastways I hope it’s only beer/ale, but even so. Then you are of legal age to drink which is sad because that is the last thing your unborn needs. Your mom is your mother and not your friend. Your friends are your peers. The baby daddy is old enough to be established and to be supportive of you financially and emotionally. I would hope he does the right thing by you and the baby to be. He needs to stop making excuses about not wanting to communicate with your mom…more stress is another thing you do not need at this time. From this moment on make the promise and commit to not take another drink with alcohol in it as long as you are pregnant and as long as you are nursing. I would even go as far as saying, as long as your child needs you. You do not want to risk harming your unborn with the possibility of developing, ‘alcohol fetal syndrome, and other health issues. Take care of you so your body will take care of the baby growing inside. Keep us posted along the way and would love to know that all is well when your baby is born.

[caandii]

Hey guys thanks 4 all the support. I just want to say that I needed 2 tell my mom BECAUSE I wasn't going to drink anythn and she would have found that strange wivout an explanation. Unfortunately the baby's daddy isn't the most supportive guy in the world and he tends 2 over-react to the tiniest things and then does things purposely 2 upset me which isn't good. But I have now told my mom and she is doing everything she can 2 help me out. And again thanks 4 all the comments and support :)

[DoulaLC]

Thanks for letting us know. Glad to hear that your mother is supportive and helping you out.

[FirstChair]

Hey guys thnx 4 all the support. I just wanna say tht I needed 2 tell my mom BECAUSE I wasn't gonna drink anythn nd she would have found tht strange wivout an explanation. Unfortunately the babys daddy isn't the most supportive guy in the world and he tends 2 over-react 2 the tiniest things nd thn does things purposely 2 upset me which isn't good. But I have now told my mom nd she is doing everything she can 2 help me out. And again thanks 4 all the comments nd support :)

That's good news that you have stopped drinking for the baby's sake and your mom is giving you assistance, moral support and love. About your baby daddy, sometimes guys take a little longer getting over the shock of something new yet awesome as bring life into the world. Give him a while and hopefully he will get his act together and start thinking more about your feelings and well-being and less about wanting it his way. One thing I feel I should comment on and that is, if he ever attempt to…or threatens to…or actually does hurt or put his hands on you physically, I don’t care if it’s only a push or shove, call the officials as soon as you can and report it. You are carrying a new life and you need to be in a safe place, even if it means going separate ways. You might want to suggest counseling such as anger management. If he's not willing to have counseling that usually means he is not willing to improve and change. Above all, take care of you and yours.