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ricky_1226 · Feb 23, 2007, 08:21 AM

First of all I want to thank you all for helping me in this tough time of my life.

My problem is that I am a 19 year old gay who has fallen in love with his 34 years old straight english teacher. He is married and knows about my sexuality and is perfectly all right with it. Its been 7 mnths that I have left my english classes but still I am into him. I have discovered my real and true love. He just know that I want to have sex with him but the fact is that I am not just for sex but also for relationship. I know that he is married and my proposal to him would make things worse but I want to confess(not propose) my true feelings. Shuld I tell him what the truth is? I don't want to come in between him and his wife ashe really love her to death and so I do I . I just don't want to create vany obstacles in his life because I fee love to is to give not to snatch. Please help me I have told him that I want to confess something. Will that be OK or I should never tell him that. We are good friends after our student teacher relationship has been terminated.

LBP · Feb 23, 2007, 02:07 PM

There are many reasons this relationship won't work and only one way, in the realm of fantasy, that it does. I have gay friends who lust after me, also - I don't know why this is? Slender figure? Point is, they're not getting anywhere - I'm attracted to women. Not men. You couldn't get me liquored up enough to kiss a man, let alone have sex with one. If this fellow is straight than it's fairly safe to assume he's the same way.

Respect him and his boundaries - maintain the friendship but find a likeminded person to share your love with.

valinors_sorrow · Feb 23, 2007, 02:15 PM

Like LBP, I too have been desired by gay friends. It was a heartache for them I wish wasn't and it eventually ended the friendship, I suspect.

There are a lot of underlying, almost Freudian reasons any of us fall in love with our teachers, coaches, doctors, therapists, bosses, etc that you might want to research or investigate. It may help you put this in a better appreciated context and give you even more reasons than the good ones LBP listed for not acting on it.

Short of that, you might want to wait a while longer to see how your feelings are much further down the road? Its possible to be in love with love too, so be careful there. Could save you some big embarrassment.

talaniman · Feb 23, 2007, 02:26 PM

He is married so he is out of bounds to you. Respecting his boundaries as others have said is the way to go. Why put all the drama int a situation where there is no hope. Keep your feelings to yourself and look elsewhere for romance that's healthier and doesn't put anyone on the hotspot.

Nosnosna · Feb 23, 2007, 02:38 PM

Don't tell him... there's no reason to bring something like that up when you already know the response. All you'd accomplish is to make him uncomfortable around you going forward (not because of your sexuality, but because of the underlying tension involved). That's not something anybody needs. You might feel better letting that out, but he doesn't want to hear that, and you'll regret it later. Nothing can damage a friendship quite like that.

Try to move on... let those feelings pass into the realm of nostalgia and move towards a healthy (not to mention possible) relationship.

ricky_1226 · Feb 24, 2007, 07:59 AM

Thank you every one for helping me out I met him today and he aked me what I want to confess but I could nt make a better excuse and I told him that I will tell him when he will be having plenty of time. Nw what should I do I will be meeting him on Tuesday please let me know? Hat shoud I say to him I was never interested in telling him this unless my friend finally said that's its better to confes because he should know my true feelings. I think you are right I should not tell him but how to tackle this problem what should I say when he will ak e again

JoeCanada76 · Feb 24, 2007, 08:19 AM

Hello,

As far as you being open with who you are that is great. Some people will except you for who you are and some will not.

As far as the teacher goes. It shows greater love to be able to let go of somebody that you feel your in love with. You know he is married and that he is faithful to his wife and that he is straight. So it is best not to say anything at all, it is best not to reveal this.

Like tal said out of bounds when somebody is married. I do believe if you care for this person you will let him be happy and not interfere at all.

So again. DO NOT SAY A WORD, DO NOT CONFESS IT WILL ONLY CAUSE MORE PROBLEMS FOR HIM AND YOU.

JOE