[scruzin65]

My grandaughter is in foster care she was 3 and now she will be 9 or 10,I found out she has not yet been adopted,I tried to reach the foster care agency they told me she wasn't ready to see famly yet,I was told to write her a letter,how would I even start a letter to her I haven't seen her since she was 3,

[JudyKayTee]

I'd start by telling her who you are, that you've thought about her over the years, you've wondered how she is, she like dogs or kittens or something and does she and you hope she'll write back.

I'd keep it short and sweet, nothing that will upset her.

What do you want your letter to accomplish?

[scruzin65]

I'd start out by telling her who you are, that you've thought about her over the years, you've wondered how she is, she like dogs or kittens or something and does she and you hope she'll write back.

I'd keep it short and sweet, nothing that will upset her.

What do you want your letter to accomplish?

I guess I want her to know that her grandma has never stopped looking for her and I would like to reunite and possibley adopt her,we used to be real close.I took care of her for most her life.And I am the one who turned her into the foster care system,I had no choice it was either take her to the streets with me or give her to someone who can take care of her,her mother was in jail and got her rights taken away.It was the worst day of my life

[JudyKayTee]

I realize you are well intended but you didn't care for her for most of her life - she's now 9 and has been in foster care since she was 3.

I realize how painful this is for you, but you have to be realistic. You are a stranger to the child now. If you make promises about possibly adopting her, reuniting with her, anything else, the letters will not be delivered to her.

You need to reintroduce yourself, keep it light, not explain, just make contact.

(I spoke with my sister, a Social Worker in the "system," about this and this is her advice. If your letter upsets the child you will not be allowed any further contact. What attempts have you made to visit or stay in touch since the time she was put into foster care?)

[joypulv]

PLEASE take the advice given, practically word for word, regardless of what you really want to say. Not only will the letter not get to her and you may lose your chance, but a 9 year old can't comprehend what you said you want to say.
How about buying a Disney card, like The Little Mermaid (is that Disney?) or MuLan, a girl card. That way your note can be super short. Or a graduation card, even if it isn't an important year. Or a blank card with kittens and puppies as suggested, and asking if she has any pets or wants to someday.

[scruzin65]

I haven't made any attemps as of yet to see her I have tried to call the home but haven't gotten any response,I also e-mailed and said I was interested in Kyli,I did receive an e-mail givibg me the socal workers name and address and was told to write a letter and enclose some pictures.

[JudyKayTee]

And the communication will go through the Social Worker to make certain the child is not upset.

[10longj]

Firstly tell her who you are, then tell her how you want to see her, never give up! I was put into care when I was 8, and I'm now 13, and my granddad, he hasn't stopped trying! But he contacts me on Facebook very day, just to see how I am! Maybe try to find out if she has a phone, and text her, but shpw he you care!

[JudyKayTee]

firstly tell her who you are, then tell her how you want to see her, never give up! i was put into care when i was 8, and im now 13, and my granddad, he hasnt stopped trying! but he contacts me on facebook very day, just to see how i am! maybe try to find out if she has a phone, and text her, but shpw he you care!

Why are you in foster care if you have a grandfather who is in contact with you?

Did you read that the social worker says the daughter is not ready for contact?