[Lashiracampbell]

Ok now I been going with my boyfriend for about 3 months now he was so attracted to me telling me how beautiful I am he always wanted to be open and wanted me around always he also kept asking me to be more open he wanted us to be closer he just kept asking me that... But for some reason I could not do it completely I mean I really love him he's a great man and I really want to I was just.so scared to get hurt before him I was in a relationships.for 5 yrs with my.ex.and he cheated lied all the time it scard me an now I think my current man is feed up with me not showing affection and opening up he's.acting.different I feel as though we're not that close.and its like he backed off I'm scared I.really don't want to lose him how can I.get.us back please.help

[Schoolmarm97]

Lashira, it sounds to me like this is all you. You need to reconcile yourself with your past. Not all men are alike, but they do have qualities in common, and you can easily trick yourself into seeing either all the good or all the bad in this special guy.

I'd suggest you two seek couples counseling together. If you continue to hold back (I'm not entirely sure what you're withholding from him, and I'm assuming it's not just sex) he will continue to distance from you. Right now you're the "distancer" (that's therapist talks ;)) and he's the "pursuer". There's a rule of therapy thumb that goes "When the pursuer stops pursuing, the distancer stops distancing" and it works the other way, too. If you stop distancing, he'll stop pushing and you can meet in the middle. But you need to get on this ASAP before he decides to find someone less complicated.

[none12345]

A relationship that ended up badly can do that to you and change that in someone. All I can say is that maybe you are not ready for a relationship, you ll need to work on bettering your own life and slowly you will begin to build faith in humanity again and realize that not all people are like that. That's when you know you're ready to start a new relationship.

[mmresd]

You need to stop punishing your current boyfriend with you past experiences. Maybe get some counceling, talk to him about why you are feeling this way, and try to change your actions.

[Lashiracampbell]

Thank you all for you help I will try to get it together asap.. Bc I do not want to lose him!!

[Fr_Chuck]

So tell him, explain your past relationship, explain the hurt and pain , and explain that things will take time, 3 months is such a short amount of time