[lewie]

I've always been relationship shy... yea... I probably need therapy about that. But I'm old enough now and should know what I want. OK... so I'm starting to have doubts about my fiancé. I'm a perfectionist and I'm really hard on myself. I think I'm expecting him to be perfect too. He's great to my kids, wonderful to me, we don't fight - we discuss, we do things together, we have things in common that we both enjoy. OK. So... he doesn't have a steady job (he's in sales) and has been "looking" for a new job. And he lives at home with Mommy (after he lost his house). I'm afraid that I see him as a mama's boy who doesn't need to get a real job because she takes care of him. He won't do the final commitment because he doesn't want me to support him. I think that's a poor excuse. So... should the good outweigh the bad? He's good to me and he's wonderful to my kids. I feel like I'm too vested in it and I need to live with the bad and keep focused on the good. So the question... is a mama's boy who doesn't have a real job worth it?

[Ela2219]

Now a days it is really hard to find good-hearted guy. Trust me. My mom is currently in a abusive relationship. Keep the guy for a while longer. You never know hee might get to his feet and get a job just for you. He sounds like a great guy. Not everyone is perfect and everyone has flaws. Be thankful his flaws are as simple as being a mommas boy.
~Ela~
*Keep me updated what happened!* :)

[LadySam]

For starters, no one is perfect, don't expect it from him.
If he he treats you well and treats your children well, then you are one up on a lot of people, men and women alike.
The loss of job and home makes for a pretty disheartening situation for him, encouragement rather than doubt right now should be what you offer.
As far as your marriage commitment, do you WANT to support him?
Obviously, not knowing the entire situation, I would say that if this is just a rough patch and not a way of life for him, then he is probably worth the time you have invested.
Give him a chance to get back on his feet and be able to provide for you like he seems from your post he wants to do.
In the end it is up to you, talk to him about your concerns.

[Fr_Chuck]

Love is not seeing the bad or not worrying about it, if you are in love, the smaller details should not matter. Does his self doubt about not going further in the relationship come from him ( not happy he is not working steady) or does he get it from you ?

But in sales, sales is always full time, it is just earnings not always full time.

[Homegirl 50]

I don't see him as a mamma's boy. He is living with his mom because he lost his job and does not want you taking care of him. I see that as a good thing. He sounds like a good guy. Maybe you need to lighten up before you lose him.

[lewie]

Thank you all for your comments. I agree, I am lucky to have him. Maybe it's just this darn menopause that's making me crazy :)

[Homegirl 50]

Menopause will do it! :)