[Myliar]

Moved to its own thread


Just need help because sometimes he punches me, or throw things at me. I was like?? What did I do wrong?? I am a 100% faithful wife, even he always put me in someone shoes ( ladies who are married and had affair). I don't understand him, he spoiled me badly and when it comes to jealousy,I'm speechless because I'm scared.

[talaniman]

There is no reason to allow physical abuse, and you must remove yourself from this situation. There is nothing to understand, just get to a safe place, shelter, family, friends, or the cops.

Maybe he gets help, maybe he doesn't. None of that matters one bit, but your safety and protection from his abuses does!

[odinn7]

Don't put up with this. My sister went through this for years and nearly died from it before she finally took the steps to save herself. Get the police involved, get out, get away. This is not acceptable at all.

[Cat1864]

To answer your title: Yes, he is abusive.

Are there any children in the household?

Many abusers will 'spoil' their victims. It keeps the target staying there and taking more abuse. It causes the victim to believe that everything that happens is their fault. They cause the insecurity and deserve the treatment they receive. But they don't. Those negative thoughts and actions belong to the abuser.

You do not make him act or react. That is all his burden to carry. Do not allow him to force it onto you.

You need to get out of the house. Do you have friends or family you could stay with for awhile? Do you have the means to be able to get your own place?

Other measures you could try would depend on where you live. Many places have shelters for abused women. Most can be contacted through your police department.

After you are in a safe place, you can look at your other options such as legal separation/divorce, counseling, etc.

Get out and then look at the full picture. Look into counseling and support groups whether stay or go. You need face-to-face support.