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lukas88 · Apr 19, 2012, 03:35 PM

I been seeing this girl for 4 months now the first 3 months, were perfect. No arguments, no trouble at all. One day on a Sunday we spent the day together everything nice, talking laughing etc etc. Took her home after because she was working the next day. So the next day comes and everything changed. She's very distant, doesn't want to talk as much, and doesn't want to meet so often.

When I started asking if something is wrong, she said everything is OK, need time to think. After a few weeks of that. She started getting really angry at me for small things. And telling me very hurtful things saying she doesn't care about anything anymore,being rude, not wanting to kiss or hug or stay over.

Before all of this she told me she loves me. Now when I say it she just says OK. Or when I say something nice to her she gets angry. I asked her if she's angry at me. She said yes but she doesn't know why. Now she acts as if I'm just some guy she knows.

I have done a few mistakes that she got angry at me for but nothing very serious. I think she may have depression but she doesn't want to talk about it or go doctor to check.

Any help, I'm lost.

DoulaLC · Apr 19, 2012, 03:46 PM

Hi lukas88,

Not what you want to hear, but it sounds as though she is simply losing interest in the relationship. Perhaps it has run its course? Most relationships do sooner or later. She may just not be able to break it off and might be hoping that you will.

Maybe back off a bit and start spending more time with your friends and family. Give her some space and time to sort out what she is thinking and wanting. See what happens after several weeks of not much contact. If she is interested, she will contact you. If not, you will see and hear less and less from her and will know that it is time to move on.

lukas88 · Apr 19, 2012, 04:01 PM

Thanks for the reply.. this went through my mind. Maybe I'm just living off hopes and dreams. She's very closed off in general before we met it was just job, home and sleep for her, she has no friends that she hangs out with regularly. Just her sister and her husband. Since we been together she been much happier till that day when everything changed. Now its back to the same routine job home sleep again.

chuff · Apr 19, 2012, 05:43 PM

When a girl backs off, so do you.

talaniman · Apr 21, 2012, 06:37 PM

If its not PMS, its you. Maybe she likes her old life better. Just back off as maybe you are trying way to hard, and she isn't use to being smothered, or sharing herself.

lukas88 · Apr 28, 2012, 03:30 PM

OK new update we went out with a couple of friends and she had a bad mood all night. The next morning we started arguing and she said we are finished. Its been a while now and she's still angry, but she hasn't deleted me from Facebook. When I had an operation she came over to see how I was, even though she said she doesn't care about anything anymore. She said she'll only be about 30min but we spent about 3 hours just talking. She still messeges me first when I don't talk to her for a few days. When someone asks her about us she doesn't admit we are over and just says we are fine. Also I sent flowers to her house and she took a picture and put it up as her wallpaper on her phone. Is any of this a sign that there might still be hope? Should I just stop talking to her for a while and see what happens? Is she playing games with me? Any advice, opinion?

Also we talked about us and she said she doesn't know what she wants. She doesn't care about anything at the moment. If I try talking to her she's very cold with me as if she doesn't want to talk. I'm sort of under the impression that she's doing this to punish me, I know she done this to other people even her sister where she didn't talk for a while but then she started again. Its all a bit confusing for me.

talaniman · Apr 28, 2012, 04:37 PM

Accept her for what she is or leave her alone, because she will never be who you want her to be, nor will she act as you want her too. Stop trying so hard to please and get a smile and just be there.

Your are to insecure to handle this female it appears to me.

lukas88 · Apr 28, 2012, 04:42 PM

Appreciate it. I posted something on mental and emotional health that might help you understand her situation and how I'm seeing this.

talaniman · Apr 28, 2012, 04:45 PM

I have read and responded to it. Much the same as I have posted here. I know it may not be what you want to hear, and how helpless and frustrated it is to want to help, but cannot. That part is not your fault, to keep pressing is.