Do I forgive him?
Me and my now ex boyfriend have been back and forth for 5 years now, meaning we loved each other but different things prevented us from being together... complicated. His mom and my mom are like best friends and we all get along like family. So, in November we started to become really close as we often do but this time was different, this time it actually seemed like we were going to officially become a couple. In December a close family member of his died and I was there for him, whatever he needed I was there. During this time, we officially became a couple but a very short time after this we found out I was pregnant. I wanted to keep it but he said that he was going through a tough time and just could not handle a baby right now. During the little time I was pregnant I was very sick; I couldn't keep anything down, I had to go back and forth to the hospital for Iv's. My problem with him at this time was not that he felt as though he could not handle a baby right now but was that he didn't seem to care that I was sick at all and that's just not like him. Well, one night I got extremely sick and had to go to the hospital and because of this my mom found out that I was pregnant and if my mom knows that means his mom knows and between the two of them a few other people are bound to find out. I spoke to both of our mother's and asked them not to tell anyone and explained that we just didn't feel ready for a baby right now (although I really didn't want an abortion). But of course this did nothing and both of our families wanted me to keep the baby very much which made the decision even more difficult for me because I was constantly hearing how this was a blessing from God. My boyfriend didn't want anyone to find out about the baby at all and was so mad at me for allowing people to find out even though I tried to keep it a secret. He basically told me I was on my own with everything for now and he had to think about our relationship and we'll be OK once he moved into his own place and everyone was out of our business. I apologized and apologized for everything (why I do not know) and asked him to just stay and work it out with me but he kept giving me the same answers. He wasn't there when I got the abortion and he didn't even call or text me after to see if I was OK.
Ok let me take a break from the story to explain that before all of this for 5 years he basically worshiped the ground I walked on. Everyone knew and it was so apparent that he was so much in love with me and would do anything for me. I know it doesn't seem like that from the story which is why all of this was a complete shock and all I could think was he just lost someone very close to him and is just going through something.
Back to the story... I was really hurt by the whole situation and I knew that if I made no contact with him for a few days he would contact me (just how he is) although I had no intention of forgiving him at this point. In about a week, he started to text me asking how I was and saying how much he missed me and wished none of this would have happened, he's moving in to his new place, etc. I didn't want to ignore him completely because I still wanted to be there for him while he was getting over his loss. He wanted to take me to dinner for my birthday and while we were there he told me he really wanted to be with me and he was with no one else he just wanted a little time to get his self together and I didn't answer right away but we started hanging out more again and basically going back to the way we were before, even planning to finally move in with each other. All of this was really hard for me because I still resented him for the whole abortion situation but it really wasn't like him to act like that and he seemed like the person I knew and loved and I kept telling myself he lost someone and was going through a hard time... forgiveness. However, before we got back to that point I wanted to ask seriously had he been with someone because up until then he had been denying it and it just wasn't sitting well with me. So one night I asked him seriously and once again he began to deny it, he even swore on his own life and it wasn't until I threatened to leave him if I ever find out he lied about this that he told me that he did sleep with someone twice. I was so heartbroken that while I was getting an abortion that I didn't even want and hurting so bad after, he was out having sex with someone else, leaving me alone. I told him that he was a liar and I would have never gotten back with him if I knew this and I broke everything off and left. He's been texting to please give him a chance, he can't lose me, he's so sorry, he thought we were done, he'll do anything, he loves me, etc. He recently just lost someone else very close to him and it really hurts me to see him in so much pain but I don't trust him and I don't think I can ever forgive him, I'm so angry at him. Am I wrong?
We had only been on "break" for two weeks at the most and we're 22.
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