[waiting1]

Okay, so. I need some serious advice. My fiancé moved away to Texas a few months ago. It's been rough. We've always had some fighting in our relationship, but once he left it's like he lost his mind. When he got over there he started getting really depressed about being without me and didn't really want to talk as much because it hurt him to hear my voice or see me on webcam. As much as it hurt to be away from him, I wanted to stay positive so that we would both be okay, especially since he's there for 3 years. Soon, his hurt started turning into anger. Really bad anger. He would blame me for him being unhappy, saying that if I loved him I would move there. He started hanging up on me all the time for no good reason and getting pissed off when I tried to reason with him. Then he would blame me for being stupid and always messing everything up by being overly emotional about certain topics such as being a little paranoid about other girls and such.

So here's where the clubbing issue comes into play (yes, finally. I know). Before he left we both agreed that it would make us both feel really good if we both did not go to clubs or bars. Anything else is all fine. Mall, movies, bowling, restaurants. Basically ANYTHING besides clubs. We both don't feel too great with each other being in that environment when we're 2000 miles apart. Okay, cool. No problemo. So one night he got SO mad at me about the moving issue that he turned off his phone and went out. He purposely went to a club and danced with another girl just to hurt me and she tried to kiss him. Which she didn't get the full kiss, but brushed her lips up against his. I was pretty devastated. It's the fact that he did it just to hurt me and he broke his promise. He felt terrible and said he wouldn't do it again.

Now more time passes and he's just always angry and saying really mean things. I keep walking on egg shells and just praying he won't get mad at me but he always finds a reason to. Finally, we meet up for a few days and we get to see each other. It wasn't perfect but it was amazing. When we each got back home he was being so sweet for a few days and then I found something that seemed so suspicious. So he got so mad but then explained it to me. I took it for what it was but I still had one of those burning questions left in my mind. So I asked it. How did this thing get deleted?. A simple question. He got SO mad that he not only didn't want to speak to me but broke up with me saying that if I didn't move to Texas, he was flat out leaving me and that ever since he'd been mad at me he's wanted to have sex with every girl that passes him and that he briefly went to the club the night before but didn't go in and stayed outside and smoked. Needless to say I feel like and now feel horrible for asking the question.

Then he says no we're not really breaking up. Okay. So he was at work for the week and didn't have his phone so when he came back he was being pretty sweet. I still felt really depressed from the situation but I tried to hold it in. He seemed great and it made me feel worse. In any case everything is fine. He goes out that night and comes home with x's on his hands and said that he had to go get his friend from inside the club. Not thrilled but it's whatever. The next day I confided in him that I'd been feeling really depressed but it only blew up in my face when he told me that he's sick of the drama and he doesn't really want to hear it. He starts going on about the moving thing and how he doesn't know how much more of me he can take if I don't move there. I mention that there are things I can't leave behind and that school for me is much like his job there is to him. He got SO mad that he hung up on me. So I got really upset and paranoid that he would do something stupid so I told him that I'm pregnant. Which I am. His entire demeanor changes and he starts being really sweet. Until he mentions that he's going to the club and is that okay with me. So I told him. No, it's really not. Please don't go. That's the only one thing I really don't want you doing. He said he didn't have a choice and that he had to babysit and be designated driver. I continued to beg him not to go and it only got him really mad. He also got angry that I wouldn't post that I was pregnant on Facebook. So he tells me this he's going to go dance his off all night and I beg him please don't. He tells me he won't as long as I don't call him again. So I don't. It's like 3 am and he's finally home and posts a status about what a great night he had. So I asked him if he danced with other girls and he told me he had a really great time and grinded with another girl. He explained that he only did it because he was mad. I asked him not to go again and he said he wouldn't. Today it came up again and I keep begging him not to go to clubs and dance with girls anymore but he said that he's going to go to clubs and he'll only dance with girls sometimes. THAT IS NOT OKAY. But he won't get it through his head but he still doesn't want ME to go out. I don't want to. What do I do... He always does it to hurt me.

[jaffeyjoeblaze]

Interesting, long distance can be tough... he seems to be exerting actions and a personality that shows he wants to be single since he has had a taste of single life since being away from you... to be honest, I have acted this way in a similar fashion but not as aggressive to find other women but always blowing stuff out of proportion... the only reason I did so was because I was not satisfied with the relationship and wanted out...

To me it seems that he wants to continue his ways until you are with him in a relationship that isn't long distance... but the club seems to be his outlet to relieve stress or to live another life he may desire (single life)...

For yourself you must make a choice of putting up with these games all the time or do you want to move on away from the pressure and stress he seems to cause you... and seems to not respect the relationship...

[talaniman]

You can't make him do anything. But you can decide to either put up with his crap, or dump him, and do better.