[luminous08]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years, He's 28. Im 25, first year was fine, sex was a regular thing for us even with his compilation of porn videos we have sex regularly. But sex happens less and less as time goes. We went down to having sex once in 2 months. A lot has happened in 2 years, infidelities, miss understandings, and fights.

Last night we had a fight, so he slept on the other room alone. Earlier today, I went to his room to cuddle when I opened the door, I caught him masturbating while watching porn clips. I didn't bother confronting him.

Another fact is, he can't ejaculate inside me, I know he does not want to have kids with me yet, but catching him watch porn brings back the infidelities he has done. I some how feel offended, but I know its pretty normal for men to have porn I do not want to over react.

I guess I have 3 questions

1. What does masturbating with cheap porn over having sex with me possibly mean? Does this mean I appear less interesting to him?

2. Does fighting have to do anything like him losing the urge to have sex with me?

3. Given the facts above does this still appear to be normal?

Help!

[talaniman]

I guess I have 3 questions

1. What does masturbating with cheap porn over having sex with me possibly mean? Does this mean I appear less interesting to him?

Not really, but masterbation appears to be a safe release for a very dysfunctional sex life. Do you take birth control of some kind? Does he understand that you do?

2. Does fighting have to do anything like him losing the urge to have sex with me?

It could be a very large factor, so I ask what are you fighting about?

3. Given the facts above does this still appear to be normal?

No it not, but is predictable given your history of fighting, and infidelities

Help!

You need a better way of communicating, as lack of sex is a sure indication that other areas of the relationship need a lot of work, to reconnect your minds, and build with each other. Frustration, and RESENTMENTS seem to have taken over, and replaced love and understanding so you cannot work together to resolve your issues. A impartial third party may guide you back to good talking and listening skills, if you are both willing.

Sexual frustration is often a distraction for other issues that needs resolving but the minds are whats disconnected. Until that gets resolved, the bodies will forever be apart. He has an outlet for his anger, frustration, and confusion, that makes you feel bad, you have no outlet for your own anger, frustration, and confusion, and that leaves two people who do not talk listen, or understand each other.

No matter what you must address this disconnection, with more talking, less fighting, and thats only the start of getting to a healthy relationship. You both have to be willing to take responsibility for this relationship, as one can do nothing, and things get stagnated, and ugly.

Get the minds back on the same page, and the bodies will follow.