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flower81 · Apr 6, 2012, 11:53 PM

Its getting out of control, and the guilt I feel the next is incredible, besides its unhealthy, wrong and a waste of money, when its around I can't say NO. It generally happens once a week or once every 2 weeks. My partner buys it and I can't say no Please help.

Illusion · Apr 7, 2012, 12:14 AM

You and your partner need help. You are recognizing your pain - the guilt and that it is hurting you in many ways. You may need to separate from your partner if he or she is providing the drugs. You do know what to do here - you need to stop and you need to get professional help to stop. Drugs are not just about the addiction but also about the emotional dependence and need - these issues need to be addressed with someone that can help you. There is also hopelessness with drug addiction - instead of hope there is despair and then you turn to drugs and the cycle continues. Your partner is in need of help also - so one of you has to go to break this cycle. You need to decide that you want help and that things will be OK. You may need help from a medical doctor to help you with the withdrawl. You can get clean - and live your life without drugs. Here in Los Angeles you can call 211 to find out what programs are out there to help you. You may need to call around and find out where the nearest Narcotics Anonymous is - they have people that want to help. Don't let the fear of getting clean hold you back - just know that the fear is just something that is keeping you from doing what is right - which is to get the help you need to stay clean. Take care.

flower81 · Apr 7, 2012, 12:17 AM

Thank you for your post.

flower81 · Apr 9, 2012, 03:36 AM

I know what I had to do but its being strong. When its not around I don't seek it. But if it's there its hard to say no. My partner does ask me generally and I fail to say NO even though I want to.

Illusion · Apr 15, 2012, 02:18 PM

This is not about being strong Flower. It is about choosing the right people in your life to help you do what is right. Addiction is a hard issue to resolve by yourself. You need help and you need help now. Otherwise you will turn to the drugs - not because you can't say no - but because you have an addiction that has not been resolved. There are emotional issues that are keeping you stuck in thinking that it is OK to have someone in your life that is bringing drugs around. I hope you will get the help you need.