[Jon1970]

I have a neurological condition known as Asperger Syndrome. It is a very mild form of Autism. Sometimes due to this I have a characteristic stare that makes people feel uncomfortable because they think I am staring at them (google asperger stare, you will see what I am talking about). I have literally in the past had women file sexual harassment complaints against me at work because I was making them feel uncomfortable (this was before I knew I had Asperger Syndrome so I did not know I could use the ADA to help me). I did not even know who these women were because for an Asperger Syndrome sufferer it is subconscious when we do this. Because of this I now work from home living a very hermetic lifestyle only going out once and a while because the world thinks I am a weirdo. I am having some surgery coming up and now I am afraid the nurses when I am recovering are going to think I am a weirdo and not feel comfortable around me. I can not control it. Unfortunately, I have discovered most of the medical community does not know a lot about Asperger Syndrome (unless they are a Psychiatrist or a Neurologist) so I will be unable to explain this to them. Does anyone have any ideas how I can try to tell these nurses that I am not a weirdo that I just have a neurological condition that is not well known?

[Wondergirl]

I've been married for 45 years to a man with Asperger's (his father had it too, and our son has a form of autism called hyperlexia), so I am very familiar with the characteristics of that condition. Autism and Asperger's have been very much in the news during the past ten years and more, so I'm not sure why you think medical people would be clueless. Judging from current statistics, the likelihood of their having an autistic/Asperger's child or family member is very good.

My suggestion is that you be very honest and upfront about your Asperger's. I can tell you stories until the cows come home about how that has been the best-case decision when someone is in doubt about how others will respond to stimming or "the stare" or other Aspie characteristics. If you're nice to me, I'll even post the story I got published about one of my library volunteers who is an Aspie.

[JustAFriend]

I'm very proud of you! I live with someone that has Aspergers and won't admit it. The sad thing is they didn't share this with their own children and they have it too. I admire the fact that you are willing to talk with others so they can understand you. That is very heroic.

I really wish the person I was living with had told me and tried to talk with me about it. I would not have had to spend so many nights trying to figure out what was going on. Just be truthful when speaking to people about it. Communication is key.

Just let them know that the world doesn't look the same for everyone. It's has nothing to do with being a bad person. You sound like a very considerate person and I want to commend you for that. If the nurses are in the medical community, they should be willing to research about Aspergers. It would be to their benefit.