[Baldwinestel]

My mom died when I was 15 she was born in 1963. I want to find her birth parents her adoptive parents don't talk about her and they treat us differently then their other grand kids.

[Fr_Chuck]

I am sorry they don't treat you the same ( or at least you don't believe they do) So what info do you have, did she ever search, do you know who her birth parents were. Do you know their names, have you talked to her parents about who the birth parents were.

What do you expect to find if you locate one or both of them?

[JudyKayTee]

I locate people as part of my work, but I won't locate anyone for someone who is a minor. How old are you? What info do you have?

FrChuck asks a very good question - what is your purpose in finding your birth grandparents?

I'm so sorry you lost your Mom and now you are going through this. Grief is difficult enough without anyone else making it worse.

Your Mom was young when she died - again, I'm sorry. It must have been very, very difficult. I was widowed and I know how that feels but the loss of a parent is somewhat different.

[Baldwinestel]

I am currently 23 she passed away in 2004. All I have is she was born in phoenix Arizona June 23 1963 died June 8 2004. Her adoptive parents won't give me any other information they are very secretive about he whole situation. What I want from knowing who they are I guess I just want to know why she gave up my mom and what is her name and what kind o culture or background did they come from I don't have to meet them. I guess I want to feel the void in my heart. My dad isn't the greatest person and my grandparents are very coldhearted my cousins use to tell my sibling and I that we arnt their family cause my mom was adopted . When she died I acted like it didn't affect me but I had too cause I have 2 younger sibling and a father that couldn't take care of himself let alone us. So I became the caretaker for everyone and wasn't able to help myself cause I was helping everyone else. Now I'm 23 living on my own and starting to deal with it and everyone is saying arnt you over it or you didn't care then why do you care now. And it's very frustrating I feel so alone my best friends don't want to hear it cause they say it's too sad. Late at night a few months ago I thought of this analogy about grief if you lose a leg you don't ever get over the loss of losing that leg you have to learn how to walk again a different way and that's how I feel grief is you never get over it you just learn how to live your life without them. Sorry I'm rambling. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[JudyKayTee]

As far as grief is concerned, yes, it's like losing a leg and having to learn to walk without one. You always have that loss.

My concern is that you want to know why her birth parents "gave up" your mom for adoption. That's a tough question, and it's going to sound accusatory

How was your father able to adopt THREE children if he's incapable? Was yours a family adoption or closed/private adoption?