Check out some similar questions!

cherryleah · Mar 28, 2012, 08:35 AM

I have been engaged to a wonderful man for 7 months. For the past couple of months he hasn't wanted to kiss me, and says he has no desire for sex. We're supposed to get married in 3 months, but I'm scared of getting married to someone who doesn't want to make love to me. What do I do??

Cat1864 · Mar 28, 2012, 09:16 AM

You communicate with him and see if there are any obvious causes for his lack of interest. Sit down and talk. Listen to him and if need be ask for clarifications. Be willing to answer his questions. See if you can work together on this.

Other than wedding plans, has he been stressed out or concerned about anything that might be limiting his libido? Does he have any medical conditions or is he on any medications (including self-medicating with alcohol or non-mainstream drugs?)

Stress, exhaustion, and medical issues are three common libido limiters. Another one is pressure to have sex. The pressure doesn't even have to come from you. It could be an internal issue and he may not realize it is happening. Would he be willing to cuddle or relax together without sex or sexual contact being expected?

Is he concerned about getting married and the changes it will bring? Are there financial issues? Is he trying to do a year's worth of work in a matter of months to get ready for the wedding? Is he getting scared?

Are there issues/conflicts with family or friends? Is anyone giving him a hard time about getting married?

If this was a sudden change, he may want to get a check up to make certain it isn't a symptom of other medical problems.

Pre-marriage counseling might also help you both figure out if this is a phase, if it can be worked through, or if it is part of a bigger problem.

talaniman · Mar 28, 2012, 11:14 AM

You talk and don't get married until the issue is resolved to the benefit of you both. Why marry someone that's not sexually compatible, and may never be?

450donn · Mar 28, 2012, 12:42 PM

Gay, medical issues, pressure/stress, age, or he finds sex with you un-satisfying. Take your pick. Any of them could be a problem. First things first, postpone the marriage for a while. Second he needs to get to a doctor to see what might be the problem.