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Mason123 · Mar 27, 2012, 04:36 PM

I'm 14 and I'm 5 months pregnant I'm having a little boy my parents say they are going to make me get an abortion but I don't want to. My boyfriends mom says I can move in and she will support us, my parents won't let me what can I do.

JudyKayTee · Mar 27, 2012, 04:51 PM

Where? What happens next depends on where you live.

Your parents cannot drag you to an abortion clinic and force you to have an abortion. That's against the law.

cdad · Mar 27, 2012, 04:51 PM

How old is your boyfriend?

alkalineangel · Mar 27, 2012, 05:01 PM

The parents can not force an abortion or an adoption of their minor. If you tell us a little more about you, we can advise what to do next.

ScottGem · Mar 27, 2012, 05:08 PM

Yes, your parents can't force you to have an abortion or give the child up for adoption. However, since you are a minor you can't move out without their permission. Your boyfriend's mother was out of line by offering to let you move in. Your parents could sue her for parental interference.

Sorry, but you are caught between a rock and a hard place. You are too young to move out, but your child is under your control. I would urge you to reconsider abortion and especially adoption. Your child will suffer in the circumstances surrounding his birth. Better to give him up to a family that will not only love him but be able to give him a home life you will not be able to do.

Alty · Mar 27, 2012, 06:55 PM

I'm 14 and I'm 5 months pregnant

Just want to point out that at 5 months, abortion is likely no longer an option, no matter what the OP or her parents want.

Most doctors won't perform an abortion after the first trimester. The OP is nearly at her third trimester. It's entirely possible that this fetus could survive outside the womb if it were to be delivered at this stage of pregnancy.

ScottGem · Mar 27, 2012, 06:56 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

Just want to point out that at 5 months, abortion is likely no longer an option,

Good point I missed that.

Alty · Mar 27, 2012, 07:03 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Good point I missed that.

I guess we can agree that this baby is going to be born, no matter what the OP's parents want.

So, with that consideration, what are her options?

Abortion is out. Adoption is still in, but only if that's what she decides. Either way, there's going to be a baby.

I'm not a legal expert, but, if the mother of the OP's boyfriend, the father of this child, is willing to take her in, how can she go about that? It's obvious that the OP's parents want her to do something that's not only not viable, but extremely risky, and frankly, illegal. This is not longer an embryo, it's a fetus that could, albeit with extreme hardship, survive outside the womb.

This baby is coming, it's closer to being here as it is to being just a possibility.

Yes, the OP is only 14, a child. She shouldn't be having a child of her own, and I completely understand where her parents are coming from. But they can't force her to put this child up for adoption, and abortion is no longer an option. So then what?

ScottGem · Mar 27, 2012, 07:26 PM

The OP's parents need to be aware of the legal complications they are involved in, They have a choice here. They can either support their daughter and their grandchild or they can turn her out. If they decide to support her they are in good shape. If they decide to go the other way, they can agree to let her move in with the father's family. However, if they just kick her out they can be in trouble. So its support her or let her go with the father's family.

They may have another choice about prosecuting the father. But if they do that it wouldn't be smart to let her move in with the father's family.

This is a sad situation and should be a warning to teens who decide to become sexually active.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 27, 2012, 08:00 PM

It is very possible that she first told her parents and they are, as all parents do at this point they are over reacting. More info will be needed for the follow-up..

But as noted abortion is not really a option here, adoption could be. Also jail or prison for the boy, since at many places 14 is underage and depending on the age of the boy what may happen to him.

So I guess you and his mom can visit him in prison.

JudyKayTee · Mar 28, 2012, 06:47 AM

I looked it up before I posted - you can get an abortion at 5 months in some States/places. That's why I asked where she is.

Mason123 · Mar 28, 2012, 03:10 PM

He is fifteen ill be fifteen Monday, they won't even let us see each other for 3 months, its bothering me I want him there when mason is born, I'm not giving my baby up I'm the one who got pregnant and no one can say that I can't take care of this baby because I've raised myslef since iwas ten along with my three yr old sis and my 2 month old brotger, I need to find a way to get out I heard I could take them for court, we both have our workers perment and we are both working. Im already attached to mason.

Mason123 · Mar 28, 2012, 03:12 PM

Im on springdale Arkansas by the way that might help

JudyKayTee · Mar 28, 2012, 03:12 PM

And again - where? You've been self supporting since you were 10? That's going to be the question if it comes to an argument.

Mason123 · Mar 28, 2012, 03:14 PM

Well parents were n and out of our lives, springdale ar

J_9 · Mar 28, 2012, 03:20 PM

In Arkansas you cannot have an abortion past 13 weeks of pregnancy, so you are safe there.

You say you have raised yourself and some siblings. Who gave you the money to do so?

Mason123 · Mar 28, 2012, 03:22 PM

Ive been working for almost a year now, my brother is 20 now and was helping until he moved out a year ago, its been me all by myslef now.

Alty · Mar 28, 2012, 03:24 PM

I realize that you may have raised yourself, but, I think you're mixing up what's actually involved when raising a child.

You may have dressed yourself, made yourself something to eat, got yourself to school. But I doubt that you paid the mortgage or rent on the house you lived in. I doubt you paid for the food you ate, or your medical bills, etc. etc. since you were 10.

You may very well be ready to take care of a child, but are you ready to support a child on your own? Do you have any idea how much it costs to raise a child? The birth alone will cost around $12,000, and that's only if there no complications, which is unlikely given your age. After that there's formula, clothes, diapers, doctor visits, etc. etc. and you still have to provide a roof over his head.

I have yet to meet a 14 year old that can earn enough money to take care of all of these expenses.

Fact is, you're going to need an adult to help you with this, and it doesn't sound like your parents are willing to do that.

Have you really thought this through? A baby isn't a doll. He won't do what you want when you want him to do it. This is a 24 hour a day job, every day of the week. You can't just decide that you're tired, or not in the mood. Once you're a parent you're in it for life, and it's a job that people twice your age aren't prepared to take on, and they have the money to do it.

Mason123 · Mar 28, 2012, 03:29 PM

I understand that and with both of us working I'm sure we coild do it along with his familys help, I have people to help and I already have a lot of diapers and clothes and all of that just need to get formula. That's it, I already hve most of it different sizes of diapers up to threes.

DoulaLC · Mar 28, 2012, 03:36 PM

Since you are keeping your baby, ask a school counselor, your doctor, health department, your boyfriend's parents, or another trusted adult to guide you in getting assistance. Here is a very good place to start:

Healthy Start