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    lisa1471's Avatar
    lisa1471 Posts: 181, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 25, 2012, 07:21 PM
    How long can affairs be kept in the dark?
    Having a 2yr fling with this man and no one knows although couple weeks ago saw his wife .We belong to same organization well,she looked back where I was at and rolled her eyes.He's very careful he's afraid of her.#2 Another female who normally goes out her way to speak to me now gives me the cold shoulders.How long can this be kept a secret.I'm kinds older than him but I know he's not telling anyone.What would make this woman roll her eyes and little over yr.ago she holds on to him? She stares at me when she's around her friends.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #2

    Mar 25, 2012, 07:41 PM
    I have no answer for you but had to comment.

    Previously you were asking about your husband having an affair and if you did the right thing by leaving him... you did leave out the tiny little detail that you were also cheating and with another married man. You would think that since you know what it's like to be cheated on... perhaps you wouldn't want to be doing it to someone else... guess not.

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...nd-601633.html
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #3

    Mar 25, 2012, 07:43 PM
    Maybe they sense that you're a home wrecker. Wives usually figure it out, no matter how careful you are. Also, if more than one person knows a secret, then it's likely that that secret will come out.

    I don't know what you expect from these women. Even if they don't know what kind of person you are, you are in fact having sex with a married man. If the wife did know for sure, she'd be likely to slap you. I know I would!

    As for the other woman, if she knows or suspects, then she's likely giving you the cold shoulder so that you don't try to steal her man next. It seems that marriage isn't sacred to you, so no man is safe, which means all women should be wary of you.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #4

    Mar 25, 2012, 07:45 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by odinn7 View Post
    I have no answer for you but had to comment.

    Previously you were asking about your husband having an affair and if you did the right thing by leaving him....you did leave out the tiny little detail that you were also cheating and with another married man. You would think that since you know what it's like to be cheated on....perhaps you wouldn't want to be doing it to someone else...guess not.

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...nd-601633.html
    Good catch. I didn't look at previous posts.

    Not feeling so bad for her that her husband cheated. I guess they were made for each other. Built from the same cloth.

    Now she's doing to another woman what was done to her.

    Karma has a way of making things even. I truly believe that. She'll get hers sooner or later.
    lisa1471's Avatar
    lisa1471 Posts: 181, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Mar 25, 2012, 07:52 PM
    But karma been hit me.It has already happened to me.I don't want his wife to find out.I'm in love with him now so I'm ending it.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #6

    Mar 25, 2012, 07:57 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lisa1471 View Post
    But karma been hit me.It has already happened to me.I don't want his wife to find out.I'm in love with him now so I'm ending it.
    But according to your other thread your husband was cheating for a little over a year. You've been having this affair for 2 years, according to you.

    So my question is, did you start this affair while you were still married?

    It really doesn't matter, two wrongs don't make a right, but still, no matter what, you're far from innocent. Your marriage was ruined by an affair, and now you're ruining a marriage due to an affair.

    It's very hard to feel any sympathy for you seeing as you're willing to do to another woman what was done to you.

    Leaving him is a good idea. A better idea would have been to never begin the relationship at all. Too late for that, and I doubt that the wife will ever treat you kindly. You're lucky she's not coming after you physically. I wouldn't stop at dirty looks, and the dirty looks are the very least you deserve, don't you think?
    lisa1471's Avatar
    lisa1471 Posts: 181, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Mar 26, 2012, 01:07 PM
    Ok everyone is throwing darts at me like MM isn't guilty.I'm asking for help but it's been so long I'm falling in love.I can't go a day without thinking about him.We are just friends it was suppose to happen once and that's it.I feel bad.We don't even see each other often.He takes care my needs one month and that's it.He always with his wife.
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #8

    Mar 26, 2012, 01:23 PM
    lisa1471... this will go nowhere for any of you and many people will end up hurt. End it now. It may hurt, but you will get over it. You messed up by allowing it to even happen once.

    Now be responsible, think about what you need to do to work at your marriage, or decide to end it, but stop seeing this married man. You both have proven yourselves to be liars and cheats, with little integrity. How very sad that you have now done to another what you once found so very painful... all for your own satisfaction as well.

    Gain back what you have lost by taking the necessary steps to put things right again.
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
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    #9

    Mar 26, 2012, 02:33 PM
    Depending on how good the people involved are at keeping secrets, forever. However, I would recommend for you to back off a married man, have some left respect for yourself and go out and meet someone who can respond the way they should, not someone who uses your body for the moist cavity that it has, the only thing it has to offer in his eyes.

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