[friendforever]

I have been married for 9 years and I have two little girls. I don't ever remember being treated nicely by my husband after marriage. He is always yelling at me or the children and can never have a proper adult conversation without saying something inappropriate.

I'm not brave enough to leave since my children despite all the yelling love their father very much and I know if I leave that he will try to take them from me and they are my life.

He has not held a steady job since we got married and is not willing to take advise from me or anyone else.
A part of me is also afraid to leave because of the stigma that I think will be attached to my children and my family.

[DoulaLC]

Consider what your marriage, as it is now, is teaching your children about what relationships are like??

Would counseling together be an option? Have you voiced your feelings on how the relationship has been? If so, what was his response?

Since you believe talking about it is not an option, then consider counseling for yourself so that you can be better prepared in how to deal with the situation. You may find the strength to make a decision that will be emotionally healthy for you and for your children. Seek support from trusted family, friends, church members, co-workers, etc for guidance as well.

If counseling is not an option for you as well, think long and hard about the example this sets for your children. Sure they love him, but that doesn't mean it is healthy for them to be living with him as things are now. Your strength comes from what you do to raise your children in a loving environment. If you consider leaving, speak with a lawyer first to learn what you need to know. If you decide to stay, do what you need to do to learn to stand up for yourself. If you fear him at all, and are worried if the anger will become physical, or if it has already, get out now.