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angie9987 · Mar 9, 2012, 09:06 PM

My ex husband has threatened me several times in e-mail and text, Will I have to release the children to him if I don't feel safe around him?

Alty · Mar 9, 2012, 09:17 PM

If you feel threatened then you call the police, you show them the emails and texts, you get a restraining order, and then you take the matter of custody of the children to court.

If your fears are valid, if he is threatening you, then he will likely lose custody, and a restraining order shouldn't be hard to get. If he is in fact threatening you.

So you have to be sure, be certain. You can't take this step out of spite. There really has to be a threat in order for you to call the police and go about this process.

But no, if you have custody of the children, you don't have to release the children to him because he's threatened you. However, if he has custody, then yes, you have to follow what the courts decided.

angie9987 · Mar 9, 2012, 09:24 PM

I called the police this last time but the others are only in emails. I was fed up this last time so I called the police and explained every thing to the officer on the phone and she let me know that it was in fact an open ended threat. The children lives with me and he lives out of state. I am the custodial parent.

ScottGem · Mar 10, 2012, 04:09 AM

What visitation rights was he given in the divorce? As long as there are court ordered visitation you have to turn the children over.

So you need to go to court to change the visitation and get an restraining order.

AK lawyer · Mar 10, 2012, 06:57 AM

I don't understand how threats to you have anything to do with whether you should release the child to him.

JudyKayTee · Mar 10, 2012, 07:40 AM

Originally Posted by AK lawyer

I don't understand how threats to you have anything to do with whether you should release the child to him.

Absolutely agree.

Also, if visitation is Court ordered you cannot withhold the children without the risk of being held in contempt. In my State (NY) the Police will not get involved with visitation because visitation is not a criminal matter. They will take a complaint because of the threats, but that does not change whether he sees the children. As AK said, he is threatening you, not the children.

So - if you believe and can prove that he is a threat to the children go back to Court and get the visitation Order changed. You must prove he is a physical or mental danger to the children.

Again, if you withhold the children contrary to the Court Order you will be the person defending an action.

JudyKayTee · Mar 10, 2012, 07:42 AM

Originally Posted by Alty

But no, if you have custody of the children, you don't have to release the children to him because he's threatened you. However, if he has custody, then yes, you have to follow what the courts decided.

Not in the US - perhaps in Canada. Do we know where the OP resides?

I am reading that she has custody and he has visitation. Either way (he has custody, she has custody) the Court Order must be followed. A restraining Order in her favor keeps him away from her - not away from the children. Picking up and dropping off for visitation, of course, would have to be worked out and addressed by an Order.

(If she has custody she does have to release the children to him IF there's a Court Order which allows him to have visitation. OP having custody does not allow her to withhold the children. In the US it would be unusual for a custody Order not to include visitation - but I'm sure it happens).