[loopsterjrt]

My boyfriend has been physically abusive with me for the past 8 months. He has gone to jail TWICE for domestic violence against me. I ended up forgivings him each time (like an idiot) but if any females are in an abusive relationship, you understand it's very hard to get out of. Anyway, after he got out of jail the first time, he continued to beat me. I have photos of all my bruises and busted lips, I have recordings of him threatening to kill me and threatening my family, and I have text messages of him threatening me and verbally abusing me. He refuses to go to anger management or therapy, so he continues to beat me every single time we argue. Beginning of January, we signed a 14 month lease in Las Vegas, NV. It is now March and things have only gotten worse. We got into an argument, he punched me in my face and threw me on the ground. I defended myself and scratched him. I then called the police and my boyfriend LIED to them telling them that I attacked him. Keep in mind I am 5'2, 99 pounds and he is 5'9, 160 pounds.. Obviously I didn't attack him. The cops did not believe me considering I didn't have a mark till 2 days later and my boyfriend had a scrath. I ended up going to jail. That was the FINAL straw for me. I now want to get a restraining order against him.. Will that force him or I to move out? We are both on the lease. He refuses to sign me off or himself off and forces me to stay here. Someone please shed some light.. I'm 20 years old and cannot deal with being depressed like this all the time. Someone please tell me that a restraining order will force him to move out. Thanks..

[Fr_Chuck]

First of course nothing "forces" you to stay there. You can walk out that door anytime you want. If you get sued for damages, your defense will be the abuse.

But yes if you get a restraining order it forces one of you to move out. ( still does not end the lease)

[wallabee4]

Please take my advice. I have been where you are, as far as having an abusive BF. Take me seriously.

#1. a retraining order is worthless waste of time. You are already dealing with an individual who breaks the law and moral law. Nothing about a silly piece of paper will change that and will only serve to aggravate him. All it does it leaves a legal papertrail to your grave. Do not water the weeds and make them grow.

YOU are the one who should get out. MAKE your plans carefully and quietly. Resist the urge to throw it into his face to tell him what you are doing. DO IT and DO it NOW. Go talk to your landlord and explain your abuse. Take the photos and ask if you could get out of your end of the lease immediately. Nothing to lose by asking. Landlord MAY say yes. If s/he says no, OK, do you have the $$ to pay that lease and also go live somewhere else and pay for that, too? Do you have a friend or relative who would be willing to take the risk to house you for 14 months or whatever's left on lease? Meanwhikle, contact your local women's shelter to talk to someone educated in your area about where to go, how to stay safe, etc. When you assert yourself this guy will probably lose control. You need the knowledege and resources these groups can give you.

Assemble a great big group of friends to help you move out (and take off work or whatever you need to move while this guy is safely at work or elsewhere. Know any friends in motorcycle gangs? Know any veterans? Know any firefighters? They are usually (not always) great guys who honor Mom and apple pie and treat women with respect. Enlist their 'protection' as you move.

[JudyKayTee]

The legal question is whether a restraining order will force the boyfriend out of the apartment, effectively evicting him. The answer is yes, it will. In NY you would need a restraining order FOLLOWED by a legal eviction.

That "silly piece of paper" will get the Police at your door as soon as you call and could save your life. Without the order you are totally at his mercy.