[d.hayes89]

Can I move my son out of state. His father,whom I was never married to says I cannot move out of state without his consent and even threatened to go for full custody. I have a job offer out there and my husbands parents need our help. Their health is not that great.

[JudyKayTee]

What does the Court Order regarding custody say?

In every State I know you cannot move without the Court's approval. If you do, you are depriving the father of his time with his child and you can be forced back to your original State, held in contempt and lose custody of your child.

I recently posted a case where I have personal knowledge of an ORAL agreement between the parents for the mother to move. She moved, the father changed his mind, took her to Court, Court said the move had to Court-approved, she was brought back, he got full custody (because she was in violation of a Court Order and was held in contempt) - and now HE has physical custody. I am talking about NY but you cannot simply take the child from the father.

Now - if it's not Court-ordered custody/visitation, that's another story.

[d.hayes89]

This is in the state od MS. We do have a custody visitation agreement. What do I need to do about the courts granting me the move. I am willing to come up with a new visitation agreement. I think its more to spite me that he is not wanting to agreeto my move.

[d.hayes89]

It doesn't say anything in our agreement about moving out of state. If that means anything

[ScottGem]

It doesn't say anything in our agreement about moving out of state. If that means anything

It doesn't have to. He has court ordered visitation. You cannot do anything that will change that visitation schedule without the court's approval. You need to prepare a case that shows moving will be in the child's best interests. The court will decide if it is or not.

If you and the father can agree on a modified visitation it will go a lot easier. Or it could be that the court will give you a choice of either moving and giving the father primary custody or not moving.

[Fr_Chuck]

The biggest issue is how involved is he in the kids life. Does he visit all the time, if he has every other week, does he do it.

Then, how can you make it work out of state fly them back every other week?

How will a little extra time during the summer make up for months of not seeing the kids.

If he is active in the kids life, he can stop you from moving.

[d.hayes89]

He only sees his son on his time to have him. I offer extra he says no. Where we are moving it's a six hour drive so I can easily bring him to his dad. I was going to have it where he gets him two weeks every month until my son starts school. Have him every other christmas and thanksgiving like it is now. And for the summer when he does start school I have him the first 2 weeks ans last two weeks.

As of right now he only gets him every other weekend and every other holiday. I mean my goodness we literally live right down the road from him and he never wants more time with him. To me it seems like he will get MORE time with him if we move

[ScottGem]

It doesn't matter what you think, nor does it matter that he doesn't take advantage of greater time with his son. What matters is that he is a part of his sons's life and moving will require a change in the current visitation schedule. He can refuse that which can prevent you from moving with your son.

[AK lawyer]

He only sees his son on his time to have him. I offer extra he says no. ...

... I mean my goodness we literally live right down the road from him and he never wants more time with him. To me it seems like he will get MORE time with him if we move

Extra time is not the issue. What matters is the time he is allocated presently. Would that be impaired?

You say he would get more time if you can move. How do you figure that, if now you are "right down the road", and if you were allowed to move you would be six hours away?

[d.hayes89]

He only sees him 4 days a month. I am offering him two weeks a month when we move. I know it gets harder when he starts school in 3 years but like I said I have a job offer at a hostipal once I finish school. We have family in that state. I am trying to give my son a better life and to provide for him better. The man wants everything to go HIS way. He won't work with me or help keep my son while I work and go to school. He tells me I should pick a better time in my life to go back to school. But yet he got to go to school and live his life the way he wants to.

[d.hayes89]

Sorry for going on a tangent there its just frustrating all the crap he puts my family through and how much control he has over my life.

[ScottGem]

I hate to say this, but you chose to have sex with this man. When you made that choice you took the risk of having a child. That gave him a measure of control over that will last as long as you and your son are alive. That's one of the consequences of engaging in intercourse.

[Fr_Chuck]

It is not control over you but his rights about his child. If things were reversed, how would you like to lose contact with the child.

[AK lawyer]

He only sees him 4 days a month. I am offering him two weeks a month when we move. I know it gets harder when he starts school in 3 years but like I said I have a job offer at a hostipal once I finish school. We have family in that state. I am trying to give my son a better life and to provide for him better. ...

It looks like you have a reasonable plan for a change in visitation. If the father will not agree to it, you have to take it to court and get the judge to agree. File a motion to modify.

[JudyKayTee]

He only sees him 4 days a month. I am offering him two weeks a month when we move. I know it gets harder when he starts school in 3 years but like I said I have a job offer at a hostipal once I finish school. We have family in that state. I am trying to give my son a better life and to provide for him better. The man wants everything to go HIS way. He wont work with me or help keep my son while I work and go to school. He tells me I should pick a better time in my life to go back to school. But yet he got to go to school and live his life the way he wants to.

That's what happens when you are the single mother and have physical custody. You pretty much lost your right to "live your life the way [you want] to" when you had your child. Perhaps it isn't fair, but that is how it is.

It's all going to be about what the Court thinks is reasonable. Go to Court and ask. The father does not have to agree with your plan. He does have to live with whatever the Court orders.

[ScottGem]

Again, the courts are charged with what is in the best interests of the child. So, if you can convince the court that the move is in the best interest of the child and that the father's ability to be a part of his son's life will not suffer, then court will probably grant your request.

No way to tell until you bring it before the court. If you have a job offer than time is of the essence and you need to move quickly.

[d.hayes89]

Thank you everyone for your advice it has truly helped.

[JudyKayTee]

Please stick around and answer some questions - another point of view is always more than welcome!

And let us know what happens, okay?

[d.hayes89]

I sure will

[d.hayes89]

My sons farher, whom I was never married to, sent me this paperwork asking for my full name, ssn, address, car information, tax information, work history, and all my bank information.

My question is being we were never married why do I have to give him all my financial information. To me it is none of his business. Please tell me if I have to give this to him by law. I have not been able to talk to my lawyer about this yet and I am so frustrated by this I can't wait to find out. Please help me.