[mommaanne]

My almost 3 year old grandson died one month ago. His parents had taken him to the ER two times within 6 hours, he had asthma, strept and pneumonia and the Dr's sent him home he died 6 hours later from cardiac arrest due to the lung problem. Why would god allow those Dr's to send him home? He was so sick, you could hear him wheezing across the room and struggling for air. I have always believed in god and heaven but, now I question if there is a god, why allow this beautiful little red headed blue eyed boy to die? Why cause all this pain to our families. How can I be sure he is in heaven and not scared? And if as people say he is in a better place, why don't we all just die and go to the better place? And if there is a heaven will he know me when I get there? This pain is unbearable, I would have switched places with him at a drop of a dime. Please help me, I'm going crazy...

[mamaof2boys]

I am so so sorry for your loss. I don't have an answer as to why God takes certain people. But I do believe there is a reason for everything. When people have said that to me after losing someone close it made me angry. But I have to believe its true. Maybe because of what happened with your precious grandbaby the hospital will tale it more seriously with the next child. No, that doesn't make you feel better or bring him back. And you will probably never "feel better". You will always long for him and wonder why he had to leave. Everyone is entitled to their own belief, but I believe with my whole heart that children go to heaven. They aren't old enough yet to understand and except Christ into their heart, so they don't know any better. I also believe he will know you. Have you heard of the book "Heaven is for real"? It may help your heart heal to read it. It gave me a lot of comfort. Again, I am so sorry and wish I had some wonderful answer to make you feel better.

[jlisenbe]

My heart also goes out to you. How painful it must be to lose one so young. I don't know that I have any wonderful explanations for all of this. I once read that there is a gulf between what we know and what we don't know or are uncertain about. It is faith that bridges that gulf. I have always liked that.

David, when told of the death of his infant son, said this: "He cannot come to me, but I shall go to him." It can be a great comfort to know that your grandson still lives, but not on the earth. So if you have placed your faith in the saving work of Christ, you shall meet again, and what a joyful reunion that will be. I am convinced he awaits your arrival, and all questions will be answered then.

In the meantime, let your pain take you towards Christ and not away from Him. I have found Him to be utterly faithful.

[mommaanne]

Thank you mamaof2boys and jlisenbe, I search the internet for answers that I know deep in my heart are not there. I do believe in god and heaven but, looking at his little body in that coffin wondering where he is, if he's scared, if I will ever see him again and why him? When he was born he saved my son from a destructive life (drugs, alcohol, not working) now I fear this will push him over the edge and he will give up on life. I have even thought if I kill myself I can go be with my grandson in case he is scared but, then I would ruin my kids lifes by missing me. My children are my life and without them I am nothing, they are ages 6,15 and 27. My 6 year old wants to know why god can't fix Landon and send him back to us, how do I answer that? She and Landon were very close more like brother and sister then aunt and nephew, Partners in crime is what I called them, always up to something. Oh it hurts so bad... thank you again. Ann

[450donn]

You absolutely must read "Heaven is for Real". This is the true story of a little boy who went to heaven, sat on the knee of Jesus. It is no fairy tale, he knew things only a person who was there could know. Met a sister he never had on earth. Saw a grandfather he had never heard about on earth.
Second, read "The Shack". I think you might find comfort in reading both of these books. And maybe you will find some answers to your questions.

[mamaof2boys]

I was going to suggest the shack also :) but read heaven is for real first.

[dwashbur]

The definitive answer to your question is: nobody knows. I personally don't believe God "takes" people in this way. I think what we see is the result of people's exercise of their free will. Too often, that exercise of will harms someone else. In those cases, especially where a small child is involved, I think God accepts the child into His presence, and hurts with you for the loss. He feels it as deeply as you do. Is the child scared? Of what? He's with the Lord. We know there's no fear there. Why did this happen? I have no idea. But what comfort there is for you, comes from the Lord and His love for that precious child. Hold on to that.

[LearningAsIGo]

I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I agree that reading "Heaven is for Real" and "The Shack" might be beneficial to you.

What I've learned over time is that talking/praying to God will give you peace and understanding. While you might not get a direct answer as to why, He will comfort you.

I firmly believe without a doubt that your grandson is in Heaven and is happy, not scared or alone. He's in a place so full of love & happiness that he can feel no pain nor sadness. There is nothing negative in Heaven so it's impossible to be anything but safe and happy.

Ann, please do not do anything drastic and remember that your children do need you. Some might argue that suicide would actually prevent you from entering heaven, but each person's beliefs are different.

I highly recommend searching for a grief counselor for your family. They are available to speak to all of you... some even specialize in helping children to understand loss.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Please continue to keep us updated. We're here to help you as much as we can.

Again, I'm so sorry for the loss of dear Landon. Though you will forever love and miss him, there is no doubt he's one of God's most beautiful angels in Heaven who's watching over you. {{hugs}}

[jlisenbe]

Dear Anne, I'll be praying for you. Love can be painful, especially to such a nice, caring person as you seem to be.

I would recommend reading the New Testament.

I hope you have people near that you can talk to. Wish I could be one of them so as to offer more help than a simple post on a message board, but I think you can see that, even here, there are people whose hearts go out to you.

[Fr_Chuck]

I am so sorry for your loss. The earth is not a Christians home, and life here is not promised to be easy for christians. None of even Christ's 12 got a easy retirement to a large home on the lake. All were tortured and killed. The issue is that we expect God to follow or go by our own rules. Remember that when passing from his realm we are moving on to the next where we are with Christ.

[classyT]

Your story is heartbreaking. I believe with all of my heart that your grandson is not scared. When the Lord Jesus was dying on the cross, he told the one thief "today you will be with ME in paradise". The Apostle Paul explains when we die we are with the Lord. He says to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. Your grandson is in heaven. But even better, FAR better he is with Jesus. He is with PERFECT love. He isn't afraid. I agree with 450Donn, please go get the book "Heaven is for Real". It will give you some comfort and give you a better understanding of the LOVE Jesus has for you and your grandson.

[Bagara]

What is sad is that many religions teach that God takes people and causes things such as this. No where can that be found in the bible. In fact many stop believing in God for the fact He is misrepresented. I advise you to study the bible for yourself. It wasn't put here to confuse people it was put here to make things straight. 2 Timothy 3:16,17. When Jesus was on earth he performed miracles such as bringing the dead alive. Would it be wrong to reason then from the scriptures that if the people had gone to heaven would be brought back here to earth? Would that not in fact be Jesus going against his Father if He was taking them to heaven? If, God want's an angel He will simply make one. He wouldn't cause evil to get one. How would that mean God is love? Read the first 3 chapters of Genesis and you will understand why we die and get sick. This is not what he inteneded. We were to be perfect and live forever. This is what the bible teaches. However, his Sovereignty has been challenged and we can see its not working for human kind. We all grow old get sick and die. Its part of sin. We inherited it from Adam. Like a bread pan with a mixture and then its cooked. If it has a dent in it, would the dent be there once the bread is taken out? However, Jesus paid this ransom. It's not how he died but, he poured his blood out. It took a perfect man to "buy back" what a perfect man lost- Adam. Also, read Revelation 21: 1-5. Know the earth is here for purpose. If, we all were made to go to heaven... then why do we hurt when others die or can you pick the day you want to die. It's in our heart to live forever as intended and it is not lost and you WILL see your grandchild again because, Jesus said at John 5:28 Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice 29 and come out, those who did good things to a resurrection of life, those who practiced vile things to a resurrection of judgment. 30 I cannot do a single thing of my own initiative; just as I hear, I judge; and the judgment that I render is righteous, because I seek, not my own will, but the will of him that sent me.

[classyT]

It's in our heart to live forever as intended and it is not lost and you WILL see your grandchild again because, Jesus said at John 5:28

What do you base your certainty that she WILL see her grandchild again? John 5:28 Is NOT the gospel. According to what is written in the Bible she will see her grandchild again as long as she accepts the Lord Jesus Christ as her personal savior. Do You agree with that or do you think all of mankind was redeemed even if they do NOT know Christ. Just curious. Thanks.

[Bagara]

I was trying to draw her out like God would want me to. I'm not someone who would push it. If she wants to know more than I figured she would ask. However, I base it upon John 17:3 and John 3:16. You have to exercise your faith- you just can't believe. The demons believe and yet they shudder. Faith has to have a foundation and not be blind. If, she would like to know more. I am open. Many walk about wanting to believe but no one to teach them. And it is free. Jesus never charged anyone. John 5:28 is a promise that Jesus made. Do you believe in his promises? It's a free gift but, one must reach for it. The wages of sin is death.. rightous and unrightous will be raised up to life here on earth. However, the wicked will be torn away. Yes, ones do have to get to know our Creator and draw close Him and He will draw close to you. James 4:8

[paraclete]

My almost 3 year old grandson died one month ago. His parents had taken him to the ER two times within 6 hours, he had asthma, strept and pneumonia and the Dr's sent him home he died 6 hours later from cardiac arrest due to the lung problem. Why would god allow those Dr's to send him home? He was so sick, you could hear him wheezing across the room and struggling for air. I have always believed in god and heaven but, now I question if there is a god, why allow this beautiful little red headed blue eyed boy to die? Why cause all this pain to our families. How can I be sure he is in heaven and not scared? And if as people say he is in a better place, why don't we all just die and go to the better place? And if there is a heaven will he know me when I get there? This pain is unbearable, I would of switched places with him at a drop of a dime. Please help me, I'm going crazy....

Such a difficult circumstance and I feel for you. However you must not blame God for this child's death instead you should know that God has accepted him. It is poosible he was too weak to survive and yes the Doctors may have been negligent in not keeping him under observation. We are here to learn and to grown and to come to know God. I have heard it said that even our unborn children, those lost in miscarriage will be waiting to greet us. Ask God to stregthen you, give you understanding and enfold you in his love

[sndbay]

I am sorry for your loss.. And I am grateful for the gift of life ever after which Our Father gave us through HIS begotten Son.. (For our tears, Jesus died so we could have life not death)
Trust in the Lord, HE did not send your grandson home ill causing him to suffer as you have said.. The failure in this situation is the doctor's lack of concern and knowledge when he sent your grandson home. Our Lord makes HIS determined time based on what he feels is best for HIS children. We are created for HIS pleasure (Revelation 4:11) and I am sure God found no pleasure in seeing your grandson suffer. If you believe in God's loving kindness and mercy, your heart will not doubt that your grandson's spirit is with the Lord in a better place. (Ecc 12:7 ) We are here on earth doing all that God created us to do, if we are good servants. (2 Corinthians 5:8-9)
Please share a seed of faith, hope, and love to others, and be thankful your grandson no longer has to suffer the illness that took his life. May God's hand comfort you in your time of sorrow.

[classyT]

sndbay,
Oh my word, I was worried about you. You haven't posted in over a year! Hope all is well. Now if we could only get a post from Fred. Also known as" acurua" ( I think that is his user name on this site) Anyway girlie, it is good to see you back.

Tess

[jakester]

To the original poster, I read your story and my heart ached for you and your family. I have buried young and old, and it always brings to light how sorrowful life can be... this life has joy, but sorrow and pain is there as well.

Truthfully, for you to question God at this time is actually a good thing... everyone gets tested by the trials of life and it brings what we really believe about God to the surface in way that ordinary life may not; it all depends on you and your own individuality.

Anyway, one thought to ponder is that if there was no life beyond this reality, the reality that we all know and experience here on earth, then death would truly be the greatest of evils that we can face. Many philosophers have agreed that if life here was all that there was, then all of the ills and evils that befall man are a reminder of how utterly futile and meaningless life is.

But seeing how you posed this question on a Christian forum, I'm assuming you are looking for a Christian perspective. My perspective is that Jesus and the Apostles are all in agreement that there is a life to come. There is an existence to come that will make this existence and all of its pain and suffering fade into meaninglessness... it will be remembered no more when the fullness of all that God has promised in the world to come has arrived. Consider what Paul says in Romans:

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us."

The gospel makes sense out of our pain... not completely; not in a way that we would like. But the gospel allows us to come to a place of acceptance that no matter what happens to us in this life, everything (the good and the BAD) is working together for our good.

Does what I say make the pain go away? No, and I wouldn't expect it to. The loss of a child/grandchild never really goes away, I don't imagine... a hole is left behind. But does a child who lives for a short while and goes away surprise an all-wise and loving Creator? No. Death does not have the final say, God does. But for all who are left behind in the wake of that tragedy, the question on the table is "what am I to do with God?" Does he have the right to give a life and take a life? If a life is taken, is that the greatest evil to occur? Or is the greatest triumph that a child who lived a short while and passed on to the age to come, conquers death and is in glory?

One of my favorite books on suffering and pain were written by Philip Yancey:

1) Where is God when it hurts?
2) Disappointment with God

I hope in time that you can to come to terms with this loss in a way that doesn't necessarily take away the pain but in a way that helps you accept that pain has other gifts that we tend to overlook: wisdom and experience. Wisdom that leads to life and experience that the wise come to revere as more abundant than many riches.

[samdarwen]

I want you to know that I am sorry for your lose and I wish anything we do, say could ease your pain but I know nothing is better than time, however, sometimes understanding and disclosers ease some of the pain but still, the pain will never go away but will be reduced by time, faith, and good help
In many ways, we hold God responsible for everything, which in a way correct and wrong and this is not a trick words. If we think about it for a minute then we will see it from a different point view. Do you remember the story of Jacob and his son Joseph? Lots of pain for long time, years and years but the pain stayed, however; it turns to be it was for the best of everyone, so because of happen, Joseph was able to save his family from certain death and I am talking about saving everyone which without them we would not had Moses, Jesus and those people; we would’ve not knew God, so you see, a plan was in place. I cannot tell you what the plan here is but you know for a fact he is in a better place, in heaven with no pain or fear, with God Himself.
My son is not dead, at least that is what I believe but I know there are a plan and a reason for that. I lost my only son 7 years ago and I have no way of knowing where he is but I have faith in God. Think about this please; which you rather, him alive in pain for the rest of his life? If you think him alive with pain then you are like most parents, we want what makes us feel better not the best for our children. I am sorry for I do not mean to hurt you in these words for it is not my place to judge anyone. When God took that boy; believe it was for his own good. God is good and he loves us all even when we doubt him.
In sorrow and pain we find the true meaning of things; through them we find salvation and freedom, something we all need.

Sorry for your lose,
Angels watching over you to let you know he is okay and free

Sam

[boncap]

What a sad and horrible loss for you and your family. This is an imperfect world and God does not make bad things happen. As our preacher says, sometimes He allows them, but He can redeem us too. He is there for you now and He Hurts when we hurt. He is our Father, of course He wants to help and comfort us. I am so sorry for your loss. There is a site I visit on Facebook The Compassionate Friends; it is a support site ( on the web too) for those of us who have lost children/grandchildren. This I believe is the greatest loss we can ever experience. You are not alone. And together we can be there for each other. Continue to take care of yourself. It is o.k. to be angry and hurt. You have suffered the worst injustice. It is not from God, it is from the evil that exsists here. Someday you will be reunited with your beloved grandchild. Try to visit the compassionate friends site. And God Bless and Hugs, you are not alone. Sincerely, Bonnie ( mother of Barry 9/17/85-2/2/11)