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deloedas22 · Feb 14, 2012, 09:37 AM

I am 22 and my boyfriend is 24. We started our relationship in August of 2011. And we are really in love. In fact, I am 6 1/2 months pregnant with our baby boy. My first child and his. We want to begin our lives together as a family and get married. However, my only worry is that God might not bless my marriage. I have gone back and forth reading my bible and asking for help on what I should do. See, my boyfriend does not claim any religion what so ever. He is more like a philosopher type and has his own veiws and ideas about religion and God. Though he does believe in God. And though we both want to get married under God, he does not want it to be leagal because of loss of certain benefits. All I want is our marriage to be blessed by God and for my son not to be born a bastard as I have heard many people say he might be. I am really confused and don't have a clue of what to do. Can some one help me?

Fr_Chuck · Feb 14, 2012, 09:50 AM

What type of benefits will he be losing, to keep these benefits does he have to lie about living with you? God will not bless lies, God will not bless deception.

A blessing that many pastors do is not a marriage honored by the state and thus your child will still not have a legal father. That is the term "bastard" although I have not heard it used in 20 years any longer,

It sounds much more like the boyfriend is making excuses not to marry you, sorry but having a child together means you had sex, it does not mean you are in love. If he was in love, nothing would stop him from wanting to be married to you. At this point, some benefit is more important than you are.

450donn · Feb 14, 2012, 10:29 AM

Well said Chuck!
There are far too many passages in the bible talking about marrying a non believer for me to think that God could possible bless something like this union as you have described it. Methinkest this is a blessing in disguise. Get out of the relationship, have the baby and move on with your life. Maybe at some point when he becomes a born again Christian you can pick up the relationship and get married. But not until, and certainly not while you are having sex with him.

samdarwen · Mar 16, 2012, 04:06 PM

Dear soon to be mother
Marriage is not papers; not that we are against papers, for papers is only serving legal things,, The principle of marriage is based on few things and the most important two is acceptance and then declaring and in your case, I believe you did both…
Two thousand years ago; they had no papers or records like that to register marriage like we do today, they accepted each other and then let people know and moved to live together, so I see no sins in such relationship; live your life happy and be faithful, loving and do good; a great mother as well as a wife…
God bless you

Sam

classyT · Mar 31, 2012, 06:57 PM

Sam,

I disagree with you. Jesus told the woman at the well that she had been married 5 times before and the man that she was living with was NOT her husband. It matters. I most CERTAINLY does matter!

Having said that, the Lord loves you delodos22. He wants you to be happy. He isn't standing in judgement of you, he isn't angry with you. What he wants is for you to BELIEVE him. There IS a reason you posted on this site and it is because you do not have peace about your circumstance. The Lord Jesus is will give you wisdom in this matter but you need to be willing to do whatever he asks you to do. It is for YOUR good not your harm. The Lord's ear isn't heavy that cannot hear nor his hand too short that he cannot save. The Lord can save this man and turn this around if he chooses, in the meantime be led by peace.

Now on a personal note... any man who will not marry you while you are carrying his child does not love you. Get out of the relationship until the Lord changes his heart and saves him. AND should the Lord not do that, let the Lord have his way in your life. You will NOT be sorry. You WILL be sorry if you do it your way. Trust me...

jakester · Mar 31, 2012, 07:06 PM

Just out of curiosity, can anyone on this thread point to a passage in the bible where God promises to bless our marriage? I couldn't find anything so I was hoping someone could illuminate that idea more.

classyT · Mar 31, 2012, 07:34 PM

Jake,

Great question. I don't have a great answer though.

We know that marriage is an institution created by God, it is a holy covenant between a man and a woman. We even get in Hebrews that marriage is honourable in all. I believe that means we are to hold it in honor. But honestly? I don't know that it means every single marriage God honors. I don't think he does but I could be waaay off. Not everything is black and white.

I do know this for sure... those who honor HIM he will honor. So even when we marry the wrong person, or marriages do not last for various reasons, the Lord still blesses his children. But I do not see ANYwhere in the Bible where it states he blesses every marriage. But I have been wrong before... it's rare though. Ha. :)

samdarwen · Apr 17, 2012, 02:41 AM

Dear classy.
I understand your point view but please check it for yourself.. In the old days, Marriage was a matter of acceptance & the approvals of the two parties, however; they had to have the intention to be live as married people and they had to declare themselves to friends and family, so the marriage itself, has nothing to do with the court systems for we created that later on...
Even today's marriage, it do not consider legal if you decided to marry on Church without getting the proper licenses and court procedures… God is above all that and can see inside us knowing what our intention is… The woman you mentioned was living with a man while she was married to another nor she indented to be his wife; so from within themselves, they were not married
All respect
Sam