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Danielle.J · Feb 13, 2012, 10:33 AM

Please help me!

geminichick · Feb 13, 2012, 11:04 AM

If I were you, I would just talk to him about it. Be open and honest about you wanting to be intimate with him. I would suggest that you talk to your doctor if you and your boyfriend do plan on having sex together and discuss you options for birth control and STD protection. Using a combination of birth control and protection is wise. Using condoms alone is not a sure all fix for protection. I have had condoms break and had to buy Plan B to protect from pregnancy and have blood tests to make sure I was OK from getting an STD.

Be safe and be wise!

J_9 · Feb 13, 2012, 11:07 AM

I'm 14 & I'm ready to have sex, but how do I bring it up with my boyfriend?

You tell him that you are ready to be a single mother and ask if he is willing to pay child support for the next 18+ years.

mamaof2boys · Feb 13, 2012, 11:16 AM

Unless you're ready to be a mother, you're not ready to have sex. And no 14 yr old is ready to be a mother.

TraceyAnn14 · Feb 13, 2012, 04:02 PM

Listen to them, wait I'm a freshmen in high school I made that mistake. You are not ready for the emotional incline.. hunny you may feel you love him and you want to do it but I was over 6 months into my relationship and it ended right after I had sex. I don't expect you to read this and listen but try to... the scare is unbelievable and it only takes one time.. and anything can happen.. I figured this out through a long toll of emotions and scares. Pregnancy on birth control can happen, condoms break, and things can turn from bad to good in a hurry.. please take this advice.. you'll thank me for it in the future. Btw pull out method. DOES NOT WORK
Still learning from mistakes,
TracyAnn

Fr_Chuck · Feb 13, 2012, 04:12 PM

Ask him to pick out a jail he wants to go to for having sex with underage girl ( most places 14 is under age) Promise him you will bring his child to see him on visiting day. And that his room mate Bubba does love him too.

Alty · Feb 13, 2012, 04:30 PM

So you're ready?

You work full time? You make enough to support a child and pay for a roof over your head? You have $12,000 plus to pay for the birth (if nothing goes wrong). You live on your own and support yourself? You're emotionally ready to be a mom?

If you answered yes to all of these, guess what, you're still not ready. Why? You're 14. No 14 year old is ready to be a mom, which means you're not ready to have sex.

I know that's not what you want to hear. You're 14, you know everything. We're just adults that want to spoil your fun. But, could it be that we talk from experience? There's something to be said for being wise enough to listen to those that have lived through things you have yet to experience.

I bet you'll tell me that you're mature for your age. If you really are, then show your maturity and listen to those that are wiser than you. Not because you're not smart, but because you're young.

geminichick · Feb 13, 2012, 10:06 PM

I agree that the best thing is to tell her to wait to have sex. I think many people would find it shocking also that the sexual health clinic and the local high school where I live has condom machines for teens. It is much better to prepare them than for her to have an unwanted pregnancy because she doesn't or isn't aware of her options out there for protection. Were kind of not living in the 19th century anymore. Sorry for being harsh and rude but it is honest and it is the truth. If she were my daughter I would prefer her to wait as well, but were not thinking realistically. My best friend made this mistake with her son and ended up getting her g/f pregnant because she told him to obstain from having sex because of her strict catholic upbringing. Cause really... I don't want to win a popularity contest of who and who doesn't agree with me. It's about thinking with your head.

Alty · Feb 13, 2012, 11:11 PM

Gemini, I do agree that sex education is a must, and that she should be made aware of safer sex. Notice how I said safer, not safe, because there's no such thing as safe sex.

Even with protection pregnancy happens, and it happens much more often than people realize.

A condom doesn't guarantee that she won't get pregnant. Even the pill and a condom combined is not a sure thing to prevent pregnancy. It can and does happen.

If she came back and said that she's ready to be a mom, and I'm not talking about wanting a baby, that doesn't make you ready. If she can support herself, can afford to live on her own, has a good job and a way to take care of this child by herself (because let's face it, at 14 she'd be doing this by herself), then by all means, she should make whatever decision she wants. Heck, I'm realistic. I know she'll do whatever she wants anyway. At 14 I doubt that she can support herself, much less herself and a child. If she can, then she's a remarkable 14 year old child.

I can't, in good conscience, say "if you're going to do it then use a condom so you don't get pregnant", because she could still get pregnant.

Also, she's 14. What about the boy she wants to have sex with? There are very few States where 14 is the legal age of consent. This boyfriend could end up being charged with rape. It's not only about her, there are two people, possibly three if she gets pregnant, whose lives she could ruin with this decision.

I have yet to meet a 14 year old mature enough to make a decision like this. I doubt she's an exception.

ScottGem · Feb 14, 2012, 04:47 AM

Originally Posted by geminichick

.I don't want to win a popularity contest of who and who doesn't agree with me. It's about thinking with your head.

It is not about agreeing or popularity. It is about condoning an irresponsible and potentially ILLEGAL action. This site has a policy against condoning or aiding in illegal activities. We do understand the realities here. That does not mean we should post responses that condone these actions.

That no form of birth control is 100%. This fact needs to be impressed on people, especially adolescents that are not physically, emotionally or financially prepared for the consequences of engaging in sexual intercourse.

LearningAsIGo · Feb 14, 2012, 11:14 AM

The first person you need to tell that you're ready to have sex is a trusted adult such as your mother or father. After that, you will need to discuss it with your doctor, get birth control and schedule a PAP smear and gynocological exam to check your health and help you learn how to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (including cancer). THEN, when you're really ready, you can discuss it with your boyfriend and see if he's ready to handle the emotional rollercoaster and physical risks, as well as if he is prepared to buy his own birth control so you're both equally protected.
Sex is a very big responsibility. Its even worse if it happens to be illegal where you live. That just takes the fun right out of it.