[katechapman]

When I got a phone and went to high school my dad would look up all my phone messages and msn messages and if I had done anything bad which most high school girls would he would take my phone off me, and not give it back for months, and then as I got older the hate between us got stronger, in grade ten he thought I went on his lap top and I got angry and said I didn't go on your stupid lap top! If I had sware at him he would have really hurt me worse, but he grabbed me and strangled me against the wall and shook me and I was crying as said "stop it it hurts I can't breath" he said good. And then later he came up hugged me and said he was sorry but I felt that night I had no love for him anymore , and I have never got it back. He also hit me with my straightener when I made a mark in the bench and he screams at me a lot if I have a opinion about anything. I'm 18 now and he still looks up my messages and tells me and we still hate each other. Mum doesn't believe me or do anything about it. He hurt my sister too but not brother, please help? He wants to teach me to drive but I won't let him

[Eileen G]

This behaviour goes beyond normal discipline into abuse. Personally, I don't believe parents should hit children at all, but whatever about spanking a young child with an open hand, there is no excuse whatsoever for strangling an 18 year old or hitting her with a hair straighten.

If anyone else had done this, you would have gone straight to the police. This is far more serious than restricting your phone use.

If you are not in a position to move out, then talk to someone (perhaps a teacher at school) and get help with this.

[Schoolmarm97]

Listen to Eileen G. Start with your school guidance counselor. I don't know where you are, so I can't be more specific, but in the US most schools have what's called an "SAC"--Student Assistance Counselor--whose job it is to find and help at-risk kids. You are one of those.