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runningmom7771 · Feb 6, 2012, 09:54 AM

I had an affair which lasted about two months. My husband is aware of the affair and we have been "reconciling" for the last three months. Now he has decided that he doesn't want to stay and is planning to leave and file for divorce using adultry as the reason. My question is this - if we have reconciled, including being intimate, can he still claim adultry or does the reconciliation "restart the clock" so to speak?

ebaines · Feb 6, 2012, 10:04 AM

You seem to think that he has some other reason to leave other than your adultery, but is using the affair as an "excuse." If you think that's true - please explain why you think he is leaving.

I suspect that he is not truly reconciled with your adultery, even if you have been intimate. After all it's only been 3 months. Such a betrayal can eat at someone and make it impossible to stay in the marriage.

Have you considered professional counseling? It may bring out other issues that in his mind are piling on top of the adultery.

JudyKayTee · Feb 6, 2012, 10:22 AM

The legal answer needs a question answered - where?

In general adultery is adultery (and also cruel and inhuman treatment) and reconciling does not cause you to lose the grounds for divorce.

You do lose the grounds for divorce if you are arguing a separation but reconciled. Then you have to start all over again.

I would say in the vast majority you still have grounds - but is cruel and inhuman treatment grounds in your State?