[RRvjse06]

I've been going out with a great guy for six months. We are both single parents (he's a widow) and I'm going through a divorce. We both have 2 kids. His are 18 y/o son and 16 y/o daughter and I have 2 daughters (11 & 10). I enjoy being with him but we hardly get to see each other and when we do it's usually with the kids. I want some more quality time with him but he feels guilty leaving his kids alone. His daughter gives him a hard time when he does something with me that doesn't include her. I feel like she is putting this wedge between us. We have never talked love but I can tell he cares about me. I haven't mentioned the word love to him because I feel like he is still grieving his deceased wife. Whenever I do get upset he comes through for me. How do I relay to him that I want more time alone with him? I have to be careful how I ask because of his daughter. Any suggestions?

[berta146]

You can try talking to the daughter its understanding why she is like that with her father she has just lost her mum and she is scared of losing her father you need to explain to her you have strong feelings for her dad and will never come between him and her,and that you will never try take her mothers place hopefully she will uderstand and back off a little if you don't want to do this talk to him tell him the truth say I have feelings for you but I am worried unless we actually make time to be alone together then this relationship will have no future I'm not asking for all your time and understand your children come first but think if were going to be in a relationship then your going to have to make a little time for me also have him talk to his daughter about the above and tell her if she ever wants to talk then your there as a friend you have to feel sorry for her she won't see what she is doing all she will see is the risk of losing her last parent and that's a scary thing at any age she needs to be reasured that he will be there good luck only take this advice if you feel its what is best you will know the situation better than anyone follow your heart and be honest you can't go wrong xxx

[talaniman]

If indeed they are still grieving, then you should back up and let them, especially given its only been 6 months of dating, and that's mostly been as a blended family type thing. I think more patience on your part, as he is still afraid to leave his daughters alone.

How long has he been widowed? Healing before dating for sure.

[mmresd]

If you are bored with a relationship, then end it and find one that entertains you. There is not point of leading your partner on. However, if you actually value this relationship, then you are going to have to be patient for people to get along with other people and you are going to have to play nice.