[Iowafan23]

I am senior in college and had been dating a girl for over 2 years until we decided to take a break in November. I had lost my virginity to her my sophomore year and before me she had sex with just one other person. It was her idea to take the break, but knowing her I never thought she would even kiss someone else. I thought we would spend time apart and then get back together shortly.

Last week she was extremely drunk and came back to my house to just go to sleep. There was a guy she said was just her friend that had taken her to a couple of his frat date parties. I thought nothing of him, because she said they were just friends, but I got kind of worried when she told me they had kissed once. That didn't bother me, but I ended up looking at her phone. From there I saw that she had been hooking up with him over the past month and lying to my face about it. I love her more than anything and she has been so sorry since.

Should I take her back and will things ever be the same? She said they just had sex 3 times and never finished because she would start crying, thinking of me. My girlfriend is the farthest person from being a slut and I believe she is truly sorry. She said they only had sex for 5 minutes and she just laid there feeling awful. After 5 minutes she was crying and stopped because she felt so bad. Should I look at this as cheating and not take her back?

[xadmin]

Well it is easier for me to say this since I look at it from a third person perspective. If she lied to you, the relationship is NOT healthy. I would say no, but it is easier said than done.

[Fr_Chuck]

Of course it is cheating, she was naked with someone else, She was cheating in talking to the guy to even get to that point, if they did not even have sex.

Your choice to take her back, but yes she cheated

[mmresd]

Considering that this is your first relationship, I can almost guarantee that you will NOT listen to the advise we will give you here.

You have two options:
You can either stay in a relationship with a person who has cheated on you, and will probably do it again (it doesn't seem like there is much commitment if she asks you for a break so that she doesn't feel guilty about banging a frat boy). Or leave her (best choice), let her live with her choice, and go find someone who is going to respect you, themselves, and your relationship together.

Choice is yours.

[cathy88]

mmresd is right. Staying involved with this girl will only bring you heartache. It's time to gather your thoughts and move on.

[LegendaryC]

Technically, you guys were on a break and I'm sure that would be her excuse but if so, why would she tell you she felt awful about it? She knows it was wrong.

Usually, when you feel awful about something, you stop doing it. Three times and never finished? Are you kidding me? I'm willing to bet it was more - this is the standard 'trickle truth' that you will get in these scenarios. Do not be fooled by your past memory of her, take control of the relationship back!

This is not about the possibility of her being a slut, neither is it about 'how good it was before'. This is about her lying or 'having her cake and eating it too'.

If you take her back, make her work for it. Make her feel like you've taken your emotions out of this and will walk away in a heartbeat if she does not value you for who you are. Give it a few weeks/months and during this time, fortify your heart and mind - go out, meet people, have fun then re-evaluate whether she is really for you.

I'd personally just walk but as mmresd said, you'll probably be inclined to giving her a chance but at least, do it right.

Good luck buddy. (Been there)

[talaniman]

I think the whole point of the break up was to do her thing and NOT cheat, and that's what she did. Now its up to you to take her back, and I wouldn't just because she did the wild thang 3 times and didn't finish??

PUH-LEASE, that's a hard one to swallow. She may have been your first, but maybe its time to consider the second. Tell her you need a break to take time to figure this out, and at your own pace. Then you can think about this without her influence.

She should have ben honest about wanting to explore other options instead of this let take a break crap. The biggest thing is I would be pissed at the disrespect she has thinking that you would fall for this crap!

I wouldn't go for it at all!!

[barkely20]

I am going through the same thing right now. Mines got drunk lied to me that she was going to pick up her brother but actually her friend picked her up and they went to some guys' house which she claimed is just a friend. I called her many times and she didn't pick. She got drunk there, and called me when she got home. She wants a break. She denied that she didn't have sex with the guy at ll but I don't believe. So when are on break now. I love her and everything but I think I am ended for good. Do you think she had sex with that guy?