[AZJ_2002]

In late 2010 me and my girlfriend of 9 years and the mother of my 6 year old son decided to separate. Soon after our separation I found out that during the end of our relationship she was seeing another man. It really felt like someone stabbed me in the heart and I didn't know how to deal with the pain, I fell into a depression and although she basically cheated on me I knew I still loved her and didn't want to lose her.

So to make a very very long story short, since DEC 2010 until now I've been fighting tooth and nail for her back. As much as I tried to stop her from moving on with this new guy she started a relationship with him in may 2011. During the time she was with her new man we still always talked everyday about getting back together and fixing our family. It was like she was gone but still so close that I could have got my family back any day, I know that might seem confusing but its very hard to really explain it.

On new years 2012 she told me she broke up with her BF and that we would start to work things out and be a family again. It turns out that she lied to me and she still had her supposed "EX" still living with her. After finding this out I act like any normal man would act and start asking questions and obviously being angry. Soon after she says she can't be with me because how I acted when I found out she lied to me about really breaking up with him.

This is simply not fair in my mind cause I'm being judged on how I reacted toward her lies and betrayal. Since then I've been so depressed and obsessed with her and our situation. I love this girl with all my heart but everyday she flips the blame on me and puts me down. She claims she needs time but she uses that time to talk and see her EX. I think about her 24/7 and I feel like I lost myself. All I do daily is call her, text her, wonder what she's doing and if she's with her EX, and wonder why she doesn't include me in her life.

Its basically impossible to do a NC with her to even try to get over her because I need to talk to her daily because of our son. I've tried to just keep it about our son when we do talk but it always switches to me asking why she has to lie and lead me on all the time. I just need any type of advice to possibly get her back or to just move on. I'm so confused at the moment because I love her and want my family back so bad, but at the same time she treats me horrible and puts me down everyday.

[geminichick]

Personally and honestly I would try very hard to keep busy and don't contact her about anything in regards to your past relationship but contact I would think should only be in regards to you child. Meaning the child's well-being, troubles he may be facing personally or in school, any health issues that you both may face with him. Despite what happened between the two of you, you can't let your son see how the two of you not getting alone and for his sake get along so you can both help him and help him to understand that none of this was his fault. As some children do tend to feel that way in reagrds to a situation like this one.

[talaniman]

Focus on being a good dad, and never speak of the relationship ever again. Speak to your son, and make sure you keep the bond with him as I doubt you will ever be a family again, but you will always be a father. ACT like it, and be glad that's all that ties you to this female.

Once you accept she is no longer coming back, what she says will no longer matter, and you can be good parents even if you were lousy as a couple. That's why YOU need to get yourself under control, and understand YOUR child is the priority, and he deserves a loving father who has a happy, balanced, healthy life to share with him.

You can't do that my friend as long as you keep letting your own feelings keep you freaked out about getting her back! Screw her, and whatever she is doing!

No more of this "I CAN"T" crap!

[Fr_Chuck]

Sorry, no, there is no need to ever talk to your ex. While I am glad you talk to your son daily, just talk to the son, don't talk to the ex, you call, if she answers, ask for the son, don't talk to her.