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Kerrigardner · Jan 19, 2012, 12:50 PM

I am 16. I want to live with my dad that's where my school and friends are. He hasn't promised me anything inappropriate. The judge granted my mom custody. Can my mom ask the judge to let me live with my dad even though she got custody? Or can I go live with him regardless of what the judge said?

Fr_Chuck · Jan 19, 2012, 12:58 PM

You mom had to make a motion to have custody of you, The judge would not have just given you to mom unless mom had filed for custody.

In child custody, both parents will have to ask the court for what they want.

If they awarded to your mom, dad has to appeal in court, and your mom will have to agree. But if you mom had been OK with it, she would have allowed it in court the first time. So she had to have filed to get you or she would not have gotten you.

Gernald · Jan 19, 2012, 01:58 PM

If your dad files for custody they can change the custody agreement. Seeing as you're 16 they will take your decision in to account. You could also try and talk with your mother about why you want to live with your dad and maybe she will let you. Since she currently has custody and you're a minor she has the reigns until the court says otherwise.

ScottGem · Jan 19, 2012, 02:03 PM

When did this happen? Did the judge ask your preference? Usually at your age they will check.

It's possible, mom was awarded custody because dad didn't want it and doesn't want to tell you.

Kerrigardner · Jan 20, 2012, 05:43 AM

Last Friday is when it happened yes he did and I said dad. Dad did want custody and he told them that but they still gave it to mom.

ScottGem · Jan 20, 2012, 06:03 AM

Hmm, I'm really surprised that, at your age, they didn't go with your preference. There may be something else going on here. I would write a letter to the judge asking why they gave you to your mother when you wanted to stay with your father.

Unless there is some reason the judge may have felt your father was unfit.

AK lawyer · Jan 20, 2012, 06:35 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Hmm, I'm really surprised that, at your age, they didn't go with your preference. There may be something else going on here. I would write a letter to the judge asking why they gave you to your mother when you wanted to stay with your father.

Unless there is some reason the judge may have felt your father was unfit.

Judges are not allowed to receive correspondence from one party to a case unless all parties are kept in the loop. It's called an ex parte contact, and it is a serious no-no. Of course in this case OP was not a party, but I think the same principle applies.

Kerrigardner · Jan 20, 2012, 07:06 AM

I don't think my father was unfit he has taken care of me for the last 3 month with out my mothers help. He had surgery on the court date so he couldn't come in. Also would it make any difference If my mom lied about stuff on the papers they finalized and sent to court? She said we were 15 and that she had a job. I am 16 and she hasn't had a job for a over a year

Fr_Chuck · Jan 20, 2012, 08:59 AM

Your dad needed to ask for a new court date, and/or have an attorney come in and ask for a new date.

Basically your dad screwed up, by not showing up, the court does not care why, they just see he did not ask to be rescheduled, he did not ask for a new date, and he did not show up.

So mom wins basically by default since he did not show up.

Dad will have to go back to court, there is nothing else that can be done.

Why did your dad not ask to be continued?

ScottGem · Jan 20, 2012, 09:17 AM

Originally Posted by Kerrigardner

He had surgery on the court date so he couldn't come in.

Ok, now that makes more sense. He didn't bother to show so it went your mother's way. So he needs to petition the court for a rehearing.

I still say write the letter, but instead of sending it to the judge give it to your father's attorney to submit to the court.

Kerrigardner · Jan 21, 2012, 08:39 PM

If my mom says its OK, even though she has sole custody, to live with my dad can I?

ScottGem · Jan 21, 2012, 08:45 PM

Legally no. But if mom agrees, then have you father file for a change in custody. It should be easy.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 21, 2012, 08:53 PM

Your mom and dad can get together ( they could have done this to start with if they really really wanted to)

But they draw up a motion to modify, and both of them sign and agree to it. And it is filed in court. So yes if mom agrees and will sign custody over to him then it is easy to do

Kerrigardner · Jan 23, 2012, 07:47 PM

Thank you all do much for your help I'll let you no how it goes