Yes, it is painful to watch those that you love self-destruct. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about it. You know the old saying, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink." It's cliché but true nonetheless. All you can really do is be there for them if they decide to make a change. You can encourage the change, but you can't force it.
"You can't get a custom fit in an off the rack world", I heard said one time. That means you can't make people be what YOU want them to be, even for their own good. You have to take others as they are, however disturbing it may be. Besides, when they get sick and tired of life being as it is, they will do something to change it. I'm sorry that I can't be more encouraging to you. They'll figure it out... eventually.
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