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andreadlvll13 · Jan 17, 2012, 03:12 AM

I been married for only a year and a half, but we always had problems in our relationship I just don't know if they are normal or big problems. He always told me he was selfish but I didn't see it till a bit before the wedding , didn't seem like a good enough reason to not marry the man. But it's seems to have gotten so much worse, I would think if he loved me he would want to do things for me, help me, care whether I'm upset or happy, and so one but I get nothing. It could be a situation where I'm extremely upset and instead of trying anything to fix or cheer me up or anything at all he gets mad at me and leaves. Or he'll do things that he knows would make upset and won't care. He doesn't care about my opinion on anything. He only does what he can to get what he wants and nothing else. We have a daughter his our main source of income I worry he won't be able to provide for her because he meets his needs and wants first . I talked to him so many times about his short comings as well as mine most times it doesn't go well but sometimes it does he said he work on it but nothing ever changes. I want him to value me as his wife respect me, my opinions, my values. I want him to care when I'm upset and try to fix things with me instead of yelling at me saying if I don't like who is I can leave. I know can be a great guy but it seems he doesn't want to be that guy for me if he has to make sacrifices of any kind. I feel like the only way to make things work with him is to give up my rights my believes and myself respect. Is there a way to save my marriage without missing out in my happiness?

Jake2008 · Jan 17, 2012, 05:33 AM

There is much work to be done before you consider a divorce in my opinion.

Were the two of you living together before you married? How old is your daughter? How long have you known the man you married.

I am wondering if what you see now in this man, is a sudden change; has he ever been supportive of you emotionally?

You say that he has tried to change, but change doesn't happen. What does he admit he needs to change. What do you see as mutual communication problems. Do things always end up in an argument? Is it the same argument all the time?

What are your expectations of him, and what are his expectations of you as far as finding better ways to communicate your needs.

If the arguments always lead to him saying you can leave if you don't like who he is; why do you think that is.

Marriage is not a cake walk, especially, and particularly when there is a child. Her happiness and security needs to come from both parents, on the same page.

It would be helpful to have more information on the history of your relationship with him, the nature of the changes you want to see, why neither of you seem to meet eachother's expectations, and what you are willing to do to better communicate.

baldskullcap · Jan 22, 2012, 11:28 AM

Why is the child the main source of income? That could be the problem. When I work, I come home and am too tired to argue, fuss, or be selfish. I just want to rest and enjoy a quiet evening, and most people do. I want to hear nothing but the sound of my sweet family's voice. That is what works in my house.

Letsmakelove · Feb 21, 2012, 05:46 PM

Ok u can go to marrige counciling or if I were you and didn't feel that he loved me or even like me in fact I would go strait to it and file for the devorce this crap has happened to my mom every time she get married to some one take my advice if he won't change for you or his daughter he won't change 4 anyone any time soon ( I'm sorry )