[jcdur]

Had a rough year with dealing with several severe issues and left my girlfriend to the tune of "I can't do this anymore, everything is too much" almost 5 months ago. A couple months later had incredible revelations about life and I realized that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I did typical "bad things" to do to try to win her back. And after those didn't work I ended up just being honest with her and got her to agree to see me the following week. Well she cancelled due to an unexpected occurrence and started dating a guy she just met.
Then said we could never be friends ever. A little (3 weeks?) while later I got a drunk call from her trying to yell at me saying how bad I hurt her. A few weeks ago I saw her and spoke with her for almost 2 hours telling her how I felt and that I came to her as the person she always knew I could be. No begging or pleading just confidence and respect for her. She told me that she "cared about me" and that I am a "great man." Mind you she had this "boyfriend" through both events. Since then I haven't heard from her until the other morning when she texted me asking if I could send her some of her favorite clothing articles (assumedly via mail). Am I missing something here? I truly feel in my heart that I'm becoming exactly the person she always saw in me when I could never see it for myself. I've done all of this independently of her but just cannot for the life of me get her out of my head.
Is she still hurting and still mad at me? Is she completely over me? Should I be patient? Or say "good riddance if you can't see what I'm offering you"?

[talaniman]

Your logic has little to do with her feelings changing and deciding to write you from her life. She is simply done and doesn't want to go back so your feelings no longer match, nor will they. Send her stuff back and accept that that hope is gone, another chance is not wanted therefore impossible.

[Jake2008]

What were your 'incredible revelations'? And what was it that has changed you. Did you work through counselling of any type? Was this a substance problem that caused the breakup?

In other words, what did you bring to the table to show that you had actually changed.

But, regardless, it may simply be too little, too late. She has moved on, and has a new love in her life. That is not a 'fault' or a slight against you. She left her relationship with you, because, for whatever reason, it simply didn't work out.

I hope that in your next serious relationship, you will take the 'new you' to new heights, and have a really compatible relationship with a new outlook. When things start to go wrong, or you run into problems that are causing a serious rift, deal with them at the time.

I agree with Tal, time to just move on. I would too, put anything left of hers in a box, and mail it off.

[Ivaaa]

Or maybe she needs you to show her more how you really feel, since you were the one who broke up the first time, and she's probably not sure should she forgive you or not, or even if she does want to, she needs to feel that you deserve it and that it's not going to bring her another painful breakup months from now. Show her that you're ready to fight for her and for your relationship and future, that's my advice.

[jcdur]

Jake, nothing was substance related. I changed my outlook on life from negative and borderline cynical to positive. I lost a couple of family members and was surrounded by death, uncertainty, and negativity for a long time. I had to take the time to be by myself and develop into who I am today. I can confidently say that I enjoy life and see things positively once again. I understand what both of you are saying, but the real kicker is that the same time she started seeing this new guy is the same few weeks where she agreed to see me and started talking to me again until she just dropped off. Ivaa, I can only show so much while still allowing her space to breathe and be her own person.