[Jack.k94]

OK so I've been talking to this girl for about three weeks now that I met at school.. a really important info that you should know is that this girl just got out of a serious relationship lately, so anyway we really hit it off right from the first day and bonded REALLY well, I mean there was instant chemistry! We're like each other in so many ways, and we like each other a lot, so yesterday I told her that I liked her, she told me she liked me too! I was very excited, but she started asking me the question are you ready for a relationship?

And I told her yes, then asked her the same. She stayed quiet for a while so I told her to think about it and give me an answer tomorrow. So when we talked today she checked with me again about being ready so I reassured her that I am. And then she told me yes, her answer was YES! I showed her that I was very excited about our new relationship and that I was very happy and proud to be her boyfriend BUT unfortunately two hours in, she tells me that it feels weird and maybe that we rushed into this, and she feels that maybe she isn't ready.

So now we're stuck in this weird zone, and I don't know what to do! I mean should I wait for her to be ready? What does she mean by she's not ready? Am I feeling something that's not there? Mm I know that's a lot of questions haha but I really need a subjective opinion on the subject

[Homegirl 50]

She says she is not ready, that is what she means. I suggest that if you are looking for a girl friend you look elsewhere. If you are content with being her friend, do that with no pressure

[talaniman]

How old are you both? How long was it that she left this old relationship, and WHY?

Of course she may be a bit gun shy about another relationship and needs more healing time. Likely all you can see is what you want from her for yourself, and not seeing what SHE needs. Its very possible your ideas of what a relationship means is different from hers, but hard to say without more facts.

Safe to say its time to back up and get those facts without pressuring her for what you want, because fact is she is being very careful who she gives her heart to. Rightfully so.

That's why she wants to know if you are ready, so find out what she expects from her next boyfriend, and why she feels that way.

[mmresd]

She told you how she feels, respect her decision and move on to another girl. It is obvious that she is not wanting the same things you are, making both of you incompatible. At least she is not leading you on. Leave her with her decision, and go find someone that feels the same way about you as you do about them.

[JudyKayTee]

I understood what she said. She's not ready for a relationship with YOU. Move on.

[Jack.k94]

JudyKayTee Ok, I appreciate your opinion. Thank you

Mmresd But the problem is that she is leading me on, she's telling me that she likes me so maybe there is hope but she just isn't ready right now for a relationship. Although from the unanimous answers that say I should move on, I think I will, because maybe I just can't look at this situation clearly, that's why I needed to ask. So thanks for your answer.

How old are you both? How long was it that she left this old relationship, and WHY?

Of course she may be a bit gun shy about another relationship and needs more healing time. Likely all you can see is what you want from her for yourself, and not seeing what SHE needs. Its very possible your ideas of what a relationship means is different from hers, but hard to say without more facts.

We are both 17, her old relationship was broken off about three months ago, because he cheated on her with another girl. But that's not the reason she doesn't want to be with me because I'm very sure she trusts me and we've talked about that subject, and she told me that she does trust me.
I still have hope to being with her because she may be just that- shy about another relationship- and what I want to know is should I give her more time to heal? Or is it just hopeless and I should find another girl. Because I like her a lot and I want to make sure that there's just not a chance before I simply move on.

[talaniman]

Why can't you just be friends? Without titles, ownership? Why do you have to move on? What is it a girlfriend brings you that a friend cannot?

I ask because you are so focused on your own feelings, your own wants, that you cannot see anything else. I think what she wants is not official commitment, or ownership, but attention, as we all need positive support after being hurt.

I doubt she is intentionally leading you on, but is hopeful of the positive reinforcement your attention gives her. You must recognize that, and change the tune of the conversation from what you want, which she knows, to what's on her mind. I think the last thing she wants is another hormone driven attraction, and of course whether she is ready or not, she will be cautious, and she may trust you, but rest assured, not enough to give you her heart.

Never assume someone else's feelings, when you can just ask. But with this one, back away to a safe distance, and get facts, and not just judge on feelings. I would never pass on a chance to make a female friend, but if its all about you having a chance at romance (I was 17 at one time too), you will not be paying attention to what she says, and that my friend is what you have to decide for yourself if the risk is worth the reward.

Only she can say whether you have a chance or not. A chance at what?? That was why she asked you if YOU were ready for a relationship, and I have to tell you my friend, that you may already have one, but don't know what to do with it.

[JudyKayTee]

We are both 17, her old relationship was broken off about three months ago, because he cheated on her with another girl. But that's not the reason she doesn't want to be with me because I'm very sure she trusts me and we've talked about that subject, and she told me that she does trust me.
I still have hope to being with her because she may be just that- shy about another relationship- and what I want to know is should I give her more time to heal? or is it just hopeless and I should find another girl. Because I like her alot and I want to make sure that there's just not a chance before I simply move on.

Seventeen? That changes my opinion - I see you pressuring her to enter into a relationship with titles of "boyfriend" and "girlfriend." I see her not ready, willing or able to do that.

Maybe it's NOT a trust issue. Maybe she very simply doesn't want to be in a relationship with "titles" with ANYONE, you included.

I see you pressuring her, and it appears she doesn't appreciate (or want) to be pressured.

I don't understand your all or nothing attitude - either you and she are in some sort of "titled" relationship or you are going to walk away? Reminds me of the man who asked me to marry hm - in our first date. Maybe it would have worked out. Maybe it wouldn't have. We'll never know because I ran like a sheep in front of a wolf.

Give her a chance to catch her breath and decide when/where/how she wants to go!

[amicon]

When someone tells you they're not ready,that's what they mean.

She's 17,and only a few months out of a relationship.

She needs to heal from that breakup so let her,why force the issue?

[thegreatestviz]

Well if you really really like her, let her be and try being a good friend, because if she genuinely likes you she'll come around. Don't get your hopes up too high though. Plus she recently broke up, so don't press your luck there mate. Be patient :)