[Wlezama]

In my final divorce decree. I am responsible to pay spousal support to my ex-wife for two years. I live in Virginia State. Now, during the two years my ex-wife got married and never informed the courts of the legal change in her maritiall status! My question is whether or not the spousal support that she was receiving from me, stopped at the time/date of marriage prior to her receiving her final court ordered compensation . My final decree did not spell it out in details so I would like to know if it is statuary Law of the state?

[RubyPitbull]

Yes. A former spouse cannot legally collect spousal support when they remarry. The support stops the day they get remarried.

[MP49D]

When the jude granted her spousal support for two years what was her work status or her capability to work? For what I remember, sposal support stops being granted when he or she gets married, gets a job or higher paying job and when one of you die.

[Wlezama]

My ex-wife got Unitary support. I found out that there is a difference between that and spousal support. There was an end date stated on the final separation agreement when it would end, but there was no details stating that the unitary support will end due to her getting married, death, or any other means but two years of support from me. And I have a judge that is a stickler for if it is not written then it would not be followed. Four years ago, she worked a part time job, she still works the same part time job to this present day. She refuses to get full time employement? She is not handicap by no means, it a matter of choice!

[RubyPitbull]

Wlezama, unfortunately Virginia does give Unitary support. I was not aware that is what you agreed to.

The court can stop the payments if you have a valid reason, such as remarriage. The Unitary support agreement allows the judge that kind of latitude in breaking the contract. But, if you are past the two year mark, have already made payments, and just found out that she remarried during that time, then it is a bit of a sticky situation. I am wondering why your attorney didn't protect you with mandates, such as remarriage, that would have automatically ended the payments, and allowed you legal recourse if she did do this. I guess the only way to get the answer would be to ask him/her.

You could try and sue her but there is no guarantee that you will win. For the most part, courts are simpathetic to situations such as these. You have, in essence, contributed to the marriage wealth of her current situation. But, if there has been a passage of time, the longer it is, the less of a leg you have to stand on.

I guess the questions here are, how far into the 2 year contract were you in, when she remarried? For the time frame that she was married until your contract ended, how much money did you pay out? Is it worth hiring a lawyer to sue her for that or would you lose that money and possibly more by paying the legal fees required to try to recoup that money? You need to calculate this and figure out if it is worth pursuing knowing that you might just lose in the end.

I am so sorry that you are in this situation. In my opinion she was incredibly selfish and should have done the right thing by advising you and refusing the remainder of the payout. That is what I would have done. But, unfortunately, not everyone's ethics are the same.

[Wlezama]

I agree. I did not marry an ethical person. It's all about the money. She was married 14 months before the unitary contract expired,her husband lives in the same house that I gaved her upon our divorce for our children. I am truly just tired of being used by her needs to get over on my finance, virtue and life style.

[RubyPitbull]

I am truly sorry. I completely understand your frustration. If I were you, I would try to find a different divorce or family law lawyer. The one you had doesn't seem to have done the best job they could have for you. Not knowing all the particulars it is a hard call to make. A new lawyer can review the paperwork, the situation, and give you advice on what options you have, if any. An initial consultation is usually free. Ask around -- friends, neighbors, co-workers,. someone should be able to give you a recommendation on a good one.

[MP49D]

It is so unfair. I can't believe how many good responsible men get roped and hog tied by so many unethical spouses. My boyfriend of three yrs has been going through a divorce for almost 4 yrs now and his "wife" has done everything criminal, dirty and unethical to get him emotionally and financially and she gets away with it! If he wants to ask for something our lawyer says he can't because Virginia always protects the women. So she lives in the martial house for free with her boyfriend who happens to be his ex-best friend. And, they drive around in his truck that he can't take because the judge will hold it against him. So he's paying for her to live a free life. She is not disabled and she works for cash to avoid getting imputed salary. It's crazy, I know. I'm sorry I rambled on but I completely understand what you are going through.

[Wlezama]

I spoke to another lawyer and he stated that he normally put remarry and things in that nature in all such document in these relations. Unfortunately, in my sit-com, he said that virginia state, being common wealth, stipulates that all language in any final decree must be followed to the letter and cannot be implied. If it states unitary support and no other recourse except the end of the two years for completion, 99% of the judges will follow suit. So in my case, I would be fighting a lost cause and waisting money. Ku-dos to you Rubypitbull and Mp49d, I sincerely appreciate your time and words written.

[RubyPitbull]

You are welcome Wlezama. I am so sorry that things didn't work out differently for you. But, I am glad that we could help you think things through.

[MP49D]

Sorry, to hear it. You're welcome.