[aazuka]

Okay. This guy did not tell me he did not want a relationship till 1.5months of sleeping with me. Then, instead of me backing up, I felt I did not have the strength to move on, so I let him to continue using me. I am always lonely, don't have friends, and now, very low self-esteem, so I was kind of vulnerable. I don't want to make this same wrong decision in the future. Given that he is the only friend I have now and that most people I reach out to always ignore (maybe they heard I let myself be use as a slut and now the ignore me), I'm really scared of losing him but I can't continue to do this to myself. Other aspects of my life are okay (my this I mean school). So, any helpful advice you can give would be great. Thank you.

[mirka77]

Google "emotional abuse" if you feel like this may be in any way what you are going through I think recognition is the 1st step to leaving. Recognizing you are not happy is a big step.

[mouse4702]

You have recognised your problem, articulated it and asked for support - three important moves. You want to move forward, so hats off to you. Maybe you are being too hard on yourself here - there can be any number of reasons for people not responding to you. Thinking of you as "a slut" would be very judgemental of them, and I know it's a cliché, but if that's their level, you don't need those people. Please don't think of yourself as a slut; it's a hard and judgemental word. You made one bad choice; it's now part of the past. Time to stop beating yourself up and start nurturing yourself. Be your own friend. Take a good non-judgemental look at yourself and maybe make 2012 the year you stand tall and appreciate the fine qualities you have. If people don't want to be your friend, stuff 'em, the right ones will be along soon. This site has some great advice on surviving a break-up, and the library will no doubt have a large shelf on self-improvement and confidence building. You could make it a project, with measurable goals. Confidence and self belief are like muscles, in that the more you exercise them, the stronger they get.