[GABALO]

I'm abroad studying and I met this guy through mutual friends when we all went out together. He asked our mutual friend for my number and then asked me out for a drink. I went out with him and he seemed kind of nervous, he was talking fairly quickly and it seemed like he had prepared the questions he was asking me but there no silent pauses and it went pretty well. But I didn't hear from him afterwards. The week after our first date we ran into each other at a college party and he seemed a little bit distant. I was the one who went up to him and I was the one who started dancing with him but he'd disappear throughout the night.

Then I went to another party on the same night and he turned up but he didn't seem as distant. We were dancing together and he kissed me a few times. Then I didn't hear anything from him after that night. This was just around Christmas, so I sent him a text wishing a happy Christmas and that it would be nice to see him again. Then he texts me back and invites out for dinner in town or at his place. He said he'll be busy over the next month with exams- he's pretty studious. So I went over his place for dinner- he still lives at home but his parents were away. He cooked me dinner and we had dinner with his brother. Dinner went really well- really relaxed. Then afterwards we go up to his room and we're just chilling- playing music and lying on his bed talking. I needed to check my last bus time and then he said he could drive me home so I agreed because it was late. So I stayed for longer because he was driving me home.

It was 1 am when I decided to go and he asked me if I wanted to stay for longer- but he seemed kind of tired (he was studying since 8 am). So we leave his place and there was so much fog it was really hard to see driving and he asked me if I wanted to stay over- and I just said if you think it's too dangerous to drive then I'll stay- it's up to you- I don't mind. He said he'd sleep on the sofa and I'd have his bed. By this stage we were half way to my place anyway so we continued. In the car he said that I'm funny- and I asked why? He said he doesn't know but that I intrigue him. I asked him why? And he said because I'm aloof. I told him a lot of guys tell me that but my guy friends tell me once you get to know me I'm not really. He said so you're really a 'wild'. We get to my place, we're in the car and he's not saying anything- so I thank for dinner etc and then we're both just kind of smiling- I start laughing and then I just kissed him on the cheek. I told him to text when he got back to his because I felt bad that he was driving in such thick fog- so just wanted to make sure he got home OK.

He texted me when he got back and it was weird because he said just got back and am going to bed I'm super tired. The next day I was out with some of my friends and I just texted him to invite him to join us and to bring some of his friends because we were going to a bar. He said he was studying but he'd give me a call if he finished early- but he didn't.

He's 2 years younger than me by the way. I think he must know that I like him but I just can't read his game. I think I'll just let him contact me next time- the ball's in his court. Am I just wasting me time? Advise please

[talaniman]

Relax, he isn't the normal aggressive guy, and he has other things on his studious mind besides parties, and fun, but if you are patient, who knows??

What you think all guys have game? Maybe he isn't like all guys.

[Bubble28]

He sounds sweet. And a lot like my brother. They are the quiet type. Very shy but once you get to know them they are very fun. Also if they fall for youthey fall for you hard and are very easily hurt.
I'm just going off what you toldus but that's they type of guy he sounds like. Now as for a game? I doubt he's playing a game he is prob just shy.
Give it time he seems very goal orentaited.
Good luck
~Erica

[GABALO]

So this story continues. It was my birthday recently and I was going out for drinks to celebrate with some friends so I invited him. He has exams at the moment but he told me he might drop by if it wasn't too late. He calls me the day before and says he can only stay for a little bit for a beer but he'll come and that we'll go out for a drink next week when he finishes his exams. But he never showed up and I sent him a text saying that we were at the bar and to let me know if he was still coming (because we weren't planning on staying there the whole night) and he didn't even respond. And he didn't even text me Happy Birthday. I'm confused by him- I get he's really studious but that's just poor form- I totally would have understood if he just told me he couldn't come. I was disappointed he didn't come and then I was worried maybe something happened to him because he's not a flake. Should I just wait it out or am I just reading the signals all wrong?

[talaniman]

What signals? All I see is your disappointment.

Why assume when you can just ask what, and get what he is up to? Happy Birthday, but keep doing your own thing, when he shakes his head from the fog, then see what happens.

I wouldn't make this a big emotional deal, but I would note how things went, for later, after the emotional dust had settled, and you have more facts, and not just hurt feelings.

[GABALO]

So I didn't hear from him since he didn't show up at my birthday drinks even though in the previous call he had asked me out for drinks later in the week. I decided to text him saying I was free for that drink later in the week and w/ther he'd still want to hang out. Before I sent this text my friend called me to tell me he was having a party over the weekend at his holiday place and one of his friends had invited my friend and ask my friend to invite others. So my friend invited me but I felt weird going because he had invited me to it. So I sent that text about drinks anyway and he calls me and says he's having this thing at his holiday place and they leave tonight for it and he invited me. But it was only a few hours notice and really the only reason he invited me was because of my text message and maybe also because he found out my close friend was going too. So I just told him I had plans tonight but I'd see if I could rearrange them and call him back. So I called him back and said I couldn't rearrange my plans because it was kind of bad form to do it last minute. And he said that I could join them the next day and that he'd text me the details. So I agreed and said I'd come but he never got back to me. And my friend who was there asked him w/ther I could come and he said yeah but I'd have to catch the train up (and I still didn't hear back from even after that subtle reminder). So I don't know whether I should pursue this anymore- I mean I've been the one contacting him and he must know by now that I'm interested. Although when he called me to invite me and I said I had plans already, he said (kind of joking) oh is that some kind of date (even though it was on a Sunday)? So I'm just confused by him- I feel as though I've been pretty forward with him. My friends told me to just send him a text about drinks later this week (don't mention the holiday house) and see how he responds and if that doesn't work out, then just leave it. He was in a 3 year r/ship with his high school girlfriend, and she broke up with him 6 months ago, so he's probably not looking for anything serious, which is fine, I'm only here temporarily anyway. I just don't know w/ther to pursue this anymore without looking desperate and/ crazy.

[talaniman]

Leave it alone now, because interested or not, he isn't as interested as you want him to be. He is doing his thing, do yours. I think you are trying to force things that are not ready to happen, and the results are frustrating you.

[mmresd]

He seems like he prioritizes very well, give him his space, if he is busy with school. Also SLOW DOWN, you are moving way too fast for this guy, if you keep doing so it might drive him away, be careful.