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sarahsmile48 · Dec 29, 2011, 07:42 AM

I met this wonderful guy online... yeah I know! He lives in NY I am in DE
My problem is he works a lot and we don't talk enough for me. When we do get a chance to talk it is like meeting for the first time I hate that!

Mini_Her · Dec 29, 2011, 08:00 AM

It happens girl... Many women fall in love online... LOL!

But to answer your question, it could work if you two meet in person and spend days in the same city/state as each other. Like you could travel to NY and spend a week or so, and vice versa, he could travel to DE. But you would need to travel at-least once per month. But eventually one of you would have to make a permanent move to the other state.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 29, 2011, 08:48 AM

The biggest issue with long term relationship. One party will have to quit their job, and move to where the other person is, at some point in the relationship if it ever is going to "work"

The next obviously he has his job over you even at this point, but someone should find time to share some emails, spend 20 min a day in a chat with you.

And sadly both male and female often lie about being married. So you need to clear that up before going to far into the relationship.

So unless most likely you would be willing to ever move to him, I doubt I see this going anywhere

sarahsmile48 · Dec 29, 2011, 08:48 AM

Thanks Mini Her, I am working on that for this summer my birthday. I want to talk everyday do you think I am asking too much?

JudyKayTee · Dec 29, 2011, 08:52 AM

Originally Posted by sarahsmile48

Thanks Mini Her, I am working on that for this summer my birthday. I want to talk everyday do you think I am asking to much?

I was in a long distance relationship. It's almost impossible.

Do I think talking every day is asking too much? Depends on your schedule and his. If he works long hours and you want long conversations, yes, it's asking too much.

I actually lived in NY and was in a relationship in Baltimore. It's not a very long drive (one of us made the trip every other weekend, Friday night to Sunday night).

The break up was somewhat due to the distance - and the travel - and other responsibilities.

Mini_Her · Dec 29, 2011, 08:54 AM

Originally Posted by sarahsmile48

Thanks Mini Her, I am working on that for this summer my birthday. I want to talk everyday do you think I am asking to much?

Well speaking everyday could get annoying/boring if you don't have lots of interesting topics. Some people don't like to sit on the phone with it to their ear and the other is not speaking... LOL, believe me, it happens. So just make sure you don't run out of things to say :)

This summer is a bit too far away. You should try to make the commute sooner, and physically visit him as often as you can. Otherwise he might find another girlfriend :eek:

Mini_Her · Dec 29, 2011, 08:57 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

The biggest issue with long term relationship. One party will have to quit their job, and move to where the other person is, at some point in the relationship if it ever is going to "work"

The next obviously he has his job over you even at this point, but someone should find time to share some emails, spend 20 min a day in a chat with you.

And sadly both male and female often lie about being married. So you need to clear that up before going to far into the relationship.

So unless most likely you would be willing to ever move to him, I doubt I see this going anywhere

I agree with you 100%. I don't see this going anywhere either but my friend-guy moved to St. Louis to live closer to a girl he had met online. But that's not something that I would recommend to anyone. They broke up 7 months later and he was stuck, alone, in a city he knew nothing about.

JudyKayTee · Dec 29, 2011, 08:57 AM

Originally Posted by Mini_Her

Well speaking everyday could get annoying/boring if you don't lots of interesting topics. Some people don't like to just sit on the phone with it to their ear and the other is not speaking...LOL, believe me, it happens. So just make sure you don't run out of things to say :)

This summer is a bit too far away. You should try to make the commute sooner, and physically visit him as often as you can. Otherwise he might find another girlfriend :eek:

The distance from Baltimore to Poughkeepsie is 214 miles! That's not the trip of a lifetime.

If the OP has to visit to keep the "boyfriend" from straying - there is a problem in the relationship.

Mini_Her · Dec 29, 2011, 09:00 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

The distance from Baltimore to Poughkeepsie is 214 miles! That's not the trip of a lifetime.

If the OP has to visit to keep the "boyfriend" from straying - there is a problem in the relationship.

The distance from Miami to St. Louis, Missouri is even further, and my friend-guy did it. I personally wouldn't recommend that to anyone but since she asked, I gave her my answers, based on what I've seen.

sarahsmile48 · Dec 29, 2011, 09:09 AM

@Fr Chuck, Its been 3 months but he is a very nice guy. I think I would be willing to move to NY I have a temp job so that would not be a problem.
I like your suggestion of 20 min or more a day talking I really need that. I know it is hard work but I am willing to work it.

sarahsmile48 · Dec 29, 2011, 09:25 AM

Okay, yes he works long hours and I want to talk. I want to get to know him more. We have hit that wall of what should we talk about. Thanks guys this is very helpful

sarahsmile48 · Dec 29, 2011, 09:32 AM

A friend of mine moved to Hawii to be with a girl and it didn't work out but he decided to stay there he loves it. I know that doesn't always happen. I don't want to move to NY and things don't work out for us and be stuck there. That is something to think about. I know I said I would move but now thinking about it IDK?? We have not talked about this at all. I just want to get some advice before we do.

Mini_Her · Dec 29, 2011, 09:54 AM

Originally Posted by sarahsmile48

A friend of mine moved to Hawii to be with a girl and it didnt work out but he decided to stay there he loves it. I know that doesnt always happen. I dont want to move to NY and things dont work out for us and be stuck there. that is something to think about. I know I said I would move but now thinking about it IDK??? We have not talked about this at all. I just want to get some advice before we do.

My advice to you would be to visit NY first before moving there. My friend guy visited his long distance girlfriend about 10 times before he actually moved there. So I think you should visit and spend some time with him before moving. See how you like it. Also, if you don't have friends/family in NY then I don't think you should move there. If you do, you might end up stranded.

sarahsmile48 · Dec 29, 2011, 10:04 AM

Exacally!! I would have cource visit first not trying to be stranded anywhere. This just gives me something to think about

JudyKayTee · Dec 29, 2011, 11:15 AM

Originally Posted by sarahsmile48

A friend of mine moved to Hawii to be with a girl and it didnt work out but he decided to stay there he loves it. I know that doesnt always happen. I dont want to move to NY and things dont work out for us and be stuck there. that is something to think about. I know I said I would move but now thinking about it IDK??? We have not talked about this at all. I just want to get some advice before we do.

I would certainly spend time with this person before I even thought about moving anywhere.

What about your career? Can you move?

My problem with long-distance relationships, traveling to see each other, is that each visit is more like a mini-vacation than dating. I don't think you get the same "impression" of the other person that you would get on a daily or weekly dating basis.

Sometimes it's all about the excitement - and then you move and the real world kicks in.