[ordinaryguy]

Here's a link to a fascinating story in today's Washington Post.

Highlights:

Just in time for Valentine's Day, scientists are announcing the results of an astonishing two-decade-long study that explored the connection between insecure infants and relationship problems in young adults. Turns out the kind of baby you were at 12 months can say a lot about the kind of lover you will be at 21.

Contrary to the popular American myth that people left to fend for themselves become strong and independent, the psychological research seems to show exactly the opposite is true: It is the people who are confident enough to reach out to others for help -- and to whom help is given -- who become truly capable of independence.

I'm not at all surprised. What do you think?

[NeedKarma]

Totally agree and have known this for a while. I see it in my kids. We adore our children and cherish them without smothering and I see them growing up and trying new experiences with greater ease that the kids of the "tough" parents that want their kids to "toughen up". In my opinion neglectful parenting is a large source of these out-of-control kids. People seem to want to put the blame of the school system - damn it they are educators not parents to 40 kids kids.

[shygrneyzs]

So that is what is wrong with me... all those years in therapy and there is the answer.

I do agree with the study - it is just common sense one would think.

[Teaching]

I am an early childhood educator by profession and can tell you it is TRUE, secure attachment is very early on in life. If children receive love. Guidance and respect, they learn to trust. Children 0-5's brains are developing and forming at this time.

[talaniman]

The formative years are for much love and reassurance and I think that study is dead on.

[kristynn]

Very true. It makes a lot of sense.

[valinors_sorrow]

Oh, I think that study is just the beginning of it. The knee bone's connected to the thigh bone...

I am somehow very gifted to see all the mental/emotional/psychological connections to decisions/actions/outcomes. Its uncanny but I know things I don't understand how I know all along these lines. It goes beyond stuff like profiling, and beyond system analysis or maybe you could make a case of me being "overly therapized" (long story there) but I got news: its all connected just like in that study. When it comes to humans there is simply nothing so isolated that it can be truly random.

On a blow-you-mind scale... the world is the way it is very largely because someone either treated us well or treated us badly and influenced who each of us is who in turn treated others the way we do and thus created how the world is. No leader, no politician, no person on the world stage is exempt from this either. If you think the little things don't matter, think again. Its all in the little things, all of it.

Gandhi got this totally right... If you want to change the world, change you.
If you want great kids, be great people foremost and then treat them kindly and fairly like NeedKarma said.