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New Member
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Dec 21, 2011, 09:41 AM
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Why can't I get over my ex when he wasn't right for me?
Myself and my boyfriend broke up 6 weeks ago, now we had only been together 11 weeks so I know some of you will think I'm nuts! But that 11 weeks were the most perfect I have had, we feel head over heels for each other and were joined at the hip! And yes I know that is usually what happens in 1st few months of any relationship but of course we both thought and told each other that this was it... marriage, house etc!
So the story goes like this, we had a bit of a falling out because he wouldn't attend a family christening with me, so I had a go at him, and he then in turn did not speak to me or reply to my texts for almost one week. We kissed and made up but looking back now I kind of felt I was walking on eggshells with him as he had thrown such a strop over christening.
We went out for dinner soon after and we were having a general chat about steaks (yes, steaks!), he didn't agree with what I was saying so I just said, sure we don't/won't agree on everything in life. At this point he looks at me and says "..I am not speaking to you the rest of tonight because nothing I say is right according to you", and he didn't speak to me the rest of that night.
I left next morning and he text to say I had ruined last night and that I was extremely difficult! He told me he needed time to think about things as he was extremely angry. I told him he could have as much time as he wanted as I wasn't putting up with his moods over petty things.
Now, 6 weeks on I can't believe how much I miss him and am totally devastated. We haven't nor will we be in touch. There has been no closure over this and I guess that is what is killing me. I know deep down that it's probably for the best as he obviously a bit of a control freak and that only started to rear its ugly head weeks in. But I also can't help thinking maybe it was me! Has anyone else experienced this and how the hell do I move on?
By the way I consider myself a normal, 30 something woman and never came across this in a relationship before!
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Senior Member
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Dec 21, 2011, 09:51 AM
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Chettee,
Firstly, welcome to this great site!
Originally Posted by chettee
Myself and my boyfriend broke up 6 weeks ago, now we had only been together 11 weeks...
How come? I mean, if separated 6 weeks back, how come together 11 weeks? Do you mean to say that before the last 6 months (passed), you have had 11 months together. Is it so?
Everyone, or say, most of the people e xperience such incidents often. Your case is not unusual. First, calm and cool down. The things will come to a beautiful point, soon. Wait and watch! Life is big, vast and beautiful. There are chances, men and manners. Just keep the door open, someone will knock it and enter it to your surprise. Still, why do you think that the chances of getting him are over. Talk to him, shock him somehow, surprise him, convey your feelings and I hope he will come back. But give him time to think, to relax, to have a friendship holiday, or vacation, what he wants. Do not hurry or worry. Things will surely come to a comfortable point, sooner than later. Believe me. Believe in yourself, in your true love, your friendship, your 'man'.
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Ultra Member
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Dec 21, 2011, 11:42 AM
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Oh my god!
Haha you sure you dating a man and not a 17 year old kid?
He uses his strops to eomotionaly control you
He wants you to come running back to him
So that if you ever disagree with him again or don't do what he wants he will have a fit
You know what I say. So long and good night!
And closure! My dear comes form your own acceptance of the situation not from him!
I'm sorry but there are times to work problems out and to fight for a relationship
But after bloody 11 months he does not get his way and stops talking to you till he gets his own way?
The key of a good relationship is communication and as this man child has not
Treat him as a kid and put him in time out for good!
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Expert
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Dec 21, 2011, 06:46 PM
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We always have those feelings of regret when all we remember is the great times, and not the bad ones. Especially when we have such high expectation for a grand future, and then it fizzles and disappears.
Don't look back, look forward, and when you miss his funky drawers, remember how funky they REALLY were.
In time, you will be glad you don't have to look back, and smell them funky drawers ever again.
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Dating & Teen Expert
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Dec 21, 2011, 07:21 PM
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In 11 weeks you discovered who he really is, but you are in love with the "might have been" Concentrate on what really was and be glad it was only 11 weeks.
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Ultra Member
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Dec 22, 2011, 09:21 PM
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Be glad that you didn't spend more time on something that isn't right.
Time is all relative, I guess.
Wait. I know. What time is it?
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New Member
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Apr 13, 2012, 10:28 AM
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Don't worry you really are not alone, it takes a lot for us to choose to become better than ourselves and to leave a relationship. You know you deserve better, so do not settle, this is still a hard time for you, but you must keep telling yourself that things will get better, and WILL overcome this, and her. Time will help, you might not think so , but it will, you will grow and learn when making better exciting decsions. I have went through a painfull experience leaving someone and I'm still getting through. We must realize we are bigger than that other person, and we are in control, hence we are the ones who left.
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Ultra Member
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Apr 13, 2012, 10:32 AM
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You need to learn to respect other people's decisions. Don't try to push someone into doing something they don't want to do. It was probably a relationship that just moved at a different pace for both of you and grew apart quick. Time to move on, there are other people out there.
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