[SuzieqUeue]

So I had this pretty good guy friend when we were 20. I had a crush on him but he hooked up with my friend. I moved away and we lost touch. We're now 38 and he got in touch on Facebook. I didn't respond for a few months and when I finally did I didn't hear from him. Then a few weeks later he emails a few times and tells a mutual friend to please please ask me to contact him because he really misses me. We started texting for a couple of days then he called and I didn't pick up because I got nervous and we continued to text for a while these marathon texting conversations that lasted all night and we had a lot of really deep conversations. I finally called him and we had a really good conversation. The next night he called after he had been drinking with a friend and told me how he was really into me when we were 20 but didn't know how to approach me and was waiting for me to make a move. Says he flirted with me all the time and I didn't respond. I was totally clueless that he thought of me as more than a friend, but was secretly pining over him. He reminded me that we made a pact to marry each other if we were both single at 40 (we're 38 and single!) saying he has been thinking about me for years and can we get together soon and I should give him a chance and he wants to marry me and have six babies blah blah blah. I said you're drunk and won't even remember this tomorrow but yeah let's get together this weekend. So all that week we texted and talked and while he said he remembered what we both said that night he doesn't bring up getting together for the weekend. So that Friday I said I'm coming out there do you want to get together? He says yeah but I have my son so I'll have to wait until his mom gets him. So it's Friday night and his baby mama hasn't shown and I say I'm going out call me when she comes and we can meet. We text all night, then about 11pm I say I'm going to call it a night and he finally invites me over. I get to is house and he is a bundle of nervous energy and there's some definite electricity in the air. We have a few drinks and chat and it gets really late and he asks me if I want to lie down on the couch with him and go to sleep. So we lie down and we cuddle I comment on his loud breathing and he says he's nervous and I say well let's just kiss and get it over with. We do and IT IS AMAZING! It's clear we're both into it, we take it to his bedroom and fool around but don't have sex. We cuddle and He falls asleep around 7am and I can't sleep. I leave a note and go back to my hotel. He texts in the afternoon and I ask him if he can get someone to keep his son and come and hang out at the hotel (fully expecting to have great sex). He says "sounds like a plan." I wait and wait and wait. I text "so...." at about 11:00 and no response. Around 2:00 as I'm fuming he texts then calls and says he fell asleep and talking about he rain blah blah blah. I say " are you that clueless that you have no idea I'm pissed off right now?" turns out when he said sounds like a plan that meant more like if things work out but no promises. I tell him he gave me mixed messages and he says I'm sorry I messed up it won't happen again, I'll come to your house later in the week. I say I need to get off the phone (because I was fuming mad).and he asks if he will hear from me tomorrow. I say I really don't know. I text him saying he made me feel blown and like I had just imagined we had a connection beyond old friends. (oh forgot to mention how via text I asked him if he too thought it was amazing kissing and he said yes. I said I want some more and he said me too. I said good then we are on the same page. He said yes. Great, right?) so that was Saturday and I couldn't stop thinking about him all day Sunday and Monday and Tuesday... finally Tuesday niht when I'm tired of waiting for him to call I text a hello. No response that night or the rest of the week (we had talked everyday for about three weeks). Finally Saturday I call to confirm that his lack of response means it's done and he answers even though he's at a friends house and in the middle of a project and sounds so happy to hear from me and he knew I was pissed so he was going to give me a few more days to cool off before he started calling. I was going to meet my sister and he asked me to call when I was done. I did and he didn't answer but it was midnight so no big deal. Doesn't call back all day Sunday. Sunday night I couldn't sleep thinking about him and how I wanted to kiss him and have sex with him and texted him asking if he was awake, fully intending to tell him I couldn't stop thinking about him and kissing him and having sex with him. Hey I'm a grown woman I should be able to do that. But alas no response. Now it is Monday and I haven't heard from him. Finally I called and he didn't answer so I left a message saying I have tried to get in touch three times and I wouldn't be doing it again. If he wants to talk to me he can call me. I'm so confused. He pursued me then when I responded he backed off but then the amazing chemistry that I KNOW was not onesided. Then so happy to hear from me now nothing. What is going on here? I really like him even though I'm way more mature and together and successful than him. I'm too old to play games but I've never had such a great connection with someone and I don't want to just let it go. Could he be intimidated by my honesty and the fact that I am much more educated and successful than him? Please help!

[SuzieqUeue]

Sorry, I know that was really long but I wanted make sure to give all the facts so someone could give me a good opinion of the situation... oh, maybe I should mention that before we revealed our crushes on each other when we were young I told him how I wanted to have a baby and I was seeing a fertility specialist soon about donor insemination. He seemed totally supportive but could that be an issue? He has two kids but expressed a desire for more, but I in no way insinuated I wanted a baby from him and still plan to follow through on my plan...

[TKJonessssss]

Well sounds to me that he may not be ready just yet. There may have been some energy in the air and he may have enjoyed you alls kiss but he may just not want to get serious. Is he in a relationship with his baby's mom? Sometimes that's a tough one cause there is a little something something between mommy's and daddy's for a little while after the baby (sometimes not always). Did you tell him you wanted to be a couple or something?

[SuzieqUeue]

No. Nothing with his sons mom. The kid is 14 and they broke up 10 years ago. Although he has another kid who is three by another woman he was with for ten years and they split just a year ago...

[SuzieqUeue]

And no I didn't tell him I wanted to be a couple but I was being honest that I felt there was something there and wanted to pursue it.

[TKJonessssss]

Well that's kind of hard only thing I could see is that he may want his cake and eat it too.. Like he may really want to kick it with you and then he may want to kick it with the other baby mama too. Like when you all have those days when you can reach him he may be with her. Just a possibility!