[married31years]

Moved to its own thread, edited, and titled.



I've been happily married for 30 years this past year. He started going to these strip club every week and I don't know why. I went 1 time to see what was there.

He leaves and doesn't come home till 3 am. I don't know how to stop this. His only comment is its fun watching the boobs.

The time I did go he was quite friendly with a waitress and she was speaking with him. Didn't know I was behind him and he told her not tonight my wife is here. Help me understand. This last year has been hell, and I don't know what to do.

[talaniman]

Take his word that he loves the show of watching young, sweet smelling girls, and the attention they give him to get good tips. It's a hangout, and if he comes home at 3, then he left just before they closed. Its probably more about drinking and the show, more than about you or the marriage.

How old is he? Is the nest empty? Or going to be? (KIDS AT HOME)

This may be that midlife thing when he is trying to capture his youth again, and prove he still got it, or maybe some other stress or pressure that's not apparent to you. After 31 years, no doubt you have faced many battles together, and conquered many obstacles, and weathered some great storms.

This is but the latest obstacle, and you will get through this one as well. How do I know? Because past record and 31 years speak for themselves and speaks volumes. How have you coped with past glitches, and bad cycles? That's how you will get through this on too. Take care of yourself, and be good to yourself, while he works through his insanity.

Good Luck.

PS, I bought a red sports car when I went through the change, that lasted a year, kids took the car, and that was that.

What you haven't been through the change yourself yet?