[candiebanks]

I just started a new relationship. We have been dating for about four months now, and about a month ago we both decided to make it official. Just two weeks ago he told me that he loves me and I also said it back.

Everything seems great, but the one issue is that he is still very good friends with his ex girl, and this girl is always calling, and texting him. We have spoken about her a few times and he always says she was there for him in the past, and if she ever needed anything thing he would also be there for her, but that there's nothing going on with them and that they are only friends.

I have never been in a situation like this before. I'm not sure how to handle it. I really do love him but I'm constantly feeling angry about their friendship. I believe him when he says there's nothing going on but I strongly feel like she's the one who doesn't want to let go.

I'm not sure how to handle their relationship, part of me wants to just say forget it and leave him alone but my feelings are already involved.

[Gryphyn34]

You have every right to feel this way. A lot of times people don't stay friends but in some cases they do and so when someone starts to date the person with the ex they don't realize that it makes it awkward for the 3rd person. I've been the ex in this type of situation and saw what it did to my ex's relationships. One thing they couldn't take was us hanging out. So I ended up moving away and we eventually stopped communicating. You really need to tell your boyfriend how this is making you feel but I would recommend doing it in a way that won't make him get all defensive. He may have some residual feelings and so he may take it the wrong way. Good Luck.

[talaniman]

I have to be honest, I have always stayed away from anyone who I thought was to close to an ex. That simple. Maybe because it's a new relationship, but getting angry does nothing, but if he is a higher priority than you are, that's something to pay attention to.

How old are you both so we have a clearer picture as to what's going on with all of you? Sometimes, you either trust him, or you don't. I get those feelings, making it hard to decide what's best, but for sure if their time interferes in your time, I would be backing out fast.

[oryxeuphemia]

This is complicated, to be sure. The most important thing is to be open and honest with people you love, so I'd explain to him that his relationship with this girl bothers me. It's a rare situation indeed where someone can be "just friends" with their ex and have that ex (or themselves) have no feelings whatsoever. Tell him it's bothering you and then try and explain exactly why: does it make you feel jealous? Do you worry that he will potentially reconnect with her on a romantic level? Maybe she's only talking with him to sort out personal issues--I have a guy friend whose ex only calls when she needs a lift somewhere because she's been drinking, or if she's having trouble with her current boyfriend. Either way, the first step is communicating that this bothers you, and then explaining--both to him and to yourself--why this bothers you the way it does.

[Ivaaa]

I think you also have to try to understand are these feelings and fears coming from you and your insecurity, or something that he does or the way he reacts to his ex. Matter of trust can so often be broken just because of one's insecurity.
My ex boyfriend's best girl friend was the girl he lost his virginity with, but I met her, and we hung out together and it soon became clear to me that they are just friends. In fact, she was the one that helped him to open up with me more, being the next important lady figure in his life.

If your man avoids bringing the two of you together, or if any of them acts strange when all three of you are together, than maybe there is something left from their relationship.
Maybe it would be wise first to check out these things, before risking to be the insecure person that doesn't trust his word on it, and that is never good.