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ProfKEPickett · Nov 24, 2011, 03:03 PM

My daughter who is 17, lived with her father in Wisconsin for three years, but in the summer whilst visiting me in England, decided to return to live with me to complete her last year of school. I have legal sole custody. Her father will not return any of her property that she left behind, although I have offered to either pay for it to be shipped or to pick it up. He says that if I go to pick the property up he will not allow me in the house. My daughter does not want to return on her own to collect her things. What legal rights do we have to reclaim her property, and how can we enforce any claim?

Wondergirl · Nov 24, 2011, 03:11 PM

I'm not one of the legal experts, but here's my take on this:

The obvious is the power play, but there's more to it. Dear ol' Dad is desperately holding on to his daughter's possessions to make sure she will return to him. In psychology, it's called a transitional object. His rationale is that, if the possessions are completely gone, she's completely gone too.

Is there some way she can assure him she will continue to visit/stay with him? Is there an important transitional object or objects she can leave with him to reassure him she will return?

ProfKEPickett · Nov 24, 2011, 03:31 PM

Thank you for your quick answer. I'm sure you're right about the underlying motivation. Unfortunately, my daughter doesn't have a good relationship with her father at the moment, and doesn't want to visit or stay with him at present; his refusal to send any of her things reinforces. This and makes her less inclined to visit. It feels like a catch 22 - he won't hand things over unless she visits, she doesn't want to visit unless he sends her things. I've waited some months to try and let the situation settle down, but her father refuses to discuss any compromise

Wondergirl · Nov 24, 2011, 03:38 PM

That puts a slightly different spin on the situation. You're going to have to wait for one of our legal experts to give you suggestions on what to do. Today is Thanksgiving in the U.S. so it may be a few hours before someone has pushed him or herself away from the dinner table to turn on the computer. Please be patient!

Fr_Chuck · Nov 24, 2011, 03:47 PM

What country is the child custody order in ?

You say sole legal custody, that is not the same as physcial custody ( at least in the US) I will assume you have full physcial or joint physcial. Can you please explain more about the situation and also how she ended up in the US, if you had custody. ** children can not just decide where they want to live.

JudyKayTee · Nov 25, 2011, 09:57 AM

She decided to stay in the UK with you instead of returning to the US pursuant to the Court Order? Where was the Order issued - UK or US? I'm confused that you have custody BUT she was living in the US. When was the Order issued? After she came to the UK to stay with you?

How did she get a visa to stay in the UK?

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