[Hchang101]

I started dating this girl about 2 months ago and it was a month ago when we made it official. This girl is a vet so she works close to 12 hrs weekdays and 8 hrs on Saturday and since she lives about a hour away, I only get to see her about only once a week. It was her birthday 2 weeks ago and during that week, I was able to meet her family and have lunch with them. Everything went well when I celebrated her birthday with her and we promised we will go on a trip together at year end. Before when we are just dating, I would call and text her about 3x a week, but after we became a couple, I would talk to her everyday and nothing seems to be wrong.

She has introduced me to her friends and her roommate, and I could usually get along with them fine. We have never fought when we are going out, but she has told me before she had to have abortion before and her past ex broke her heart. Everything was going great until 2 days ago. I waited for my girlfriend to get off work on a Friday night, as I saw her, she looked very upset, tired, and cold. I asked if she was all right and if she had a good day of work, she just told me she had to do some over time and is tired.

As we are heading to her apartment, she I was kind of worried because I have never seen her this upset before. It was really pouring outside, so She told me to wait in the living room while she goes and get changed. While I was waiting for her, I was texting one of my friend, I actually laughed because something funny was told, and I saw her come by and just shook her head and just returned to her room.

After a little longer, she came back, sat next to me, and told me, we have to talk. She said while we are a couple, she couldn't be her self, and she is under a lot of pressure and stress. It was a couple of days ago that I told her how I received a job offer oversea but rejected it. She seem really happy at the moment, but I have told her it wasn't for her that I am staying because I don't want to give her too much pressure.

Well anyway, she than and says she usually is really tired after our dates. She than goes on and says that maybe it is because I am from the US and she is Chinese that there is a language barrier (I am in Asia). I try to tell her maybe it is true because my Chinese speaking isn't good and that is why she is having these misunderstanding. She than goes on and say maybe she doesn't love me enough and that is why she is having these thoughts and she goes on and say this is her first relationship within the last 2 years.

I just tried to comfort her at the moment and suddenly her roommate came home. Her roommate had no idea what we are talking about and assumed everything was OK. We didn't want her to get involved so we just played along and acted like nothing had happened. The 3 of us ended up talking until really late at night and I ended finding out she suffered from depression and had a childhood where her parents constantly fought, and eventually her father passed away due to a disease.

I ended up staying at their place that evening (my first time) and I actually changed into my girlfriends clothes because I had nothing to change into. She then setup my fold up bed and gave me one of her favorite dolls and we all went to sleep. I obviously couldn't of slept because I was just hit from the blindside. I stayed up all night and just waited for them to wake up so we can go out and have breakfast.

Around 7am, I saw her wake up and ran to the toilet, and I heard as if someone was throwing up inside. After she came out, I asked her if she was OK, she said she has been getting stomach acid a lot and feels like throwing up every morning. I told her she should go see a doctor, but she just ignored it, and even her roommate doesn't know about her this symptom.

We all went to have breakfast afterward, and everything was fine. As we are heading home, I told her let's finish out conversation next time, and instead of talking every night, let's take a one week break to think things through. She said OK and went off to work. I feel really worried for my girlfriend but at this moment I have no idea what is going on and why all of a sudden something like this would happen.

Please give me some advice if you can!

I also like to add, There would be times when I give her some gifts like flowers and while we are shopping I would pay for her, which she also brought up that gave her a lot of pressure.

[talaniman]

You can only see what happens next, and see if the changes you have made in your routine makes a difference, but fair warning, she has probably been thinking this way for a while, and even though you got along with no conflicts, she may be worried that your feelings are deeper than hers.

That's not a bad thing, as that's what dating is all about, so maybe tone down the boyfriend stuff, IF it works out for the better. It may not, and you may have to accept the fact that she isn't going to continue this dating much longer.

After just two months unfortunately you do not know her well enough to really know what's on her mind, so I hope seeing each other less, will help. Maybe you were moving to fast for her. Who knows really?