[garden23]

I am feeling so much remorsefullness... my 22 year old daughter, whom I haven't been getting along with for a very long time, moved out last week and won't take my texts or calls and changed her e-mail address. I have a short fuse and have anger issues but have always loved her.However I couldn't take her disrespectfullness and uncivil attitude from her any longer and threw a knife at her... no excuses... it was an awful thing to do... three weeks of my apologizing went by and I finally told her if she couldn't talk to me or except my apologies then she had until the end of the semester to figure out where she was going to live. She left the next day... It was a long time coming but Im mordified by my actions... I fear she will never talk to me again... her 20 year old sister and I get along fine but the 22 year old and me just can't see eye to eye at all on anything and haven't for a while...

[jenniepepsi]

Um... you threw a knife at her... she may never speak to you again. You are just going to have to wait and see what happens. It is her right to stay away from a person who throws knives at her! Mom or not!

Have you seen a psychiatrist? Psychologist? Do you have any documented mental illness? Like bipolar? Depression? Etc?

[garden23]

Depression actually and the daughter takes Adderall

[jenniepepsi]

Is your daughter ADHD? Has she seen a psychologist for it? Into adult hood ADHD patients can lead normal lives.

Her adderall has nothing to do with you throwing a knife at her. The only thing you can do is take care of yourself, make sure you address your anger and make sure you take care of what needs taken care of, and hope that she will accept you back into her life.

[garden23]

I have to say you are correct to an extent however the Adderall makes her hostile and moody which didn't help our situation. Her doctor seems to think the drug will help her focus with school which was a complaint of hers but she has become very thin and aggressive while on it...

[jenniepepsi]

Yes but you are not hearing my words here.

I'm trying to explain to you that HER behavior, and HER attitude has nothing to do with the problem. You threw a knife at her. That communicates that 'i am your mother and I want to kill you' in a very real and very scary sense.
Its not surprising that she doesn't want to see you. I am not validating or approving of her behavior (I don't know all the details anyway) but no matter how mean, aggressive, grumpy, etc, she is, it doesn't give you an 'out' on throwing the knife at her. It will take her time. Give her space. Back up. And let her live her life for a while without you.

You might be surprised! My mother did much worse than throw a knife at me (actually she stabbed me with the knife, didn't even bother throwing it lol) and I have slowly and carefully allowed her to stay in my life (and my daughters life with supervision)