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sweetsun717 · Nov 9, 2011, 11:25 AM

We broke up before and this time, he really meant it. He told me that he still likes me but he just doesn't want a relationship now. So I accepted it and only hang out with him once after break up. We went out for a short dinner and went back to his apartment and played some random videos on YouTube just like we always did. And then I did not contact him for 3 days and today he initiated the contact by saying "How are you?" and I replied "Good, U?" and then he replied saying he is done with his work for the week and asked me again about my job. I replied everything went well, thanks for asking but that was it. I am so confused as in whether he still wants me back? Or just asking me like a friend. I have no idea and if he just wants to keep me as a friend, I refuse to do so because I don't want to see the possibility that him dating another girl.

Thanks for your input!

BK201 · Nov 9, 2011, 12:29 PM

Does not looks like he wants you back, because, if he did, he will not be so casual in his text. My guess is, he felt lonely, did not have any plans and texted you. Do you still have feelings for him? If yes, suggest you be strict with your no contact rules.

mmresd · Nov 9, 2011, 01:10 PM

Yes, be strict with the no contact. He has broken up with you, let him feel what he has lost. Only then will you get your answer whether he still wants you. However, if he has already broken up with you, I would suggest for you to start moving on and forget about a guy that takes you for granted and talks to you as a back up plan when he is bored.

talaniman · Nov 9, 2011, 01:13 PM

He cares, but sees you as a friend, and to be fair, he probably needs a friend while he gets over being around you.

You have to be honest, and tell him you are unavailable for the buddy stuff.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 9, 2011, 01:50 PM

And don't really see any no contact, eating out, watching things at his place, text back and forth.

How about real no contact and get back to us in about a month of no contact

sweetsun717 · Nov 11, 2011, 10:39 AM

Thanks for the input. I just started the NC thing after Sunday.. I guess I was thinking too much. Well, I am not contacting him now so we will see what his reactions are.. Thanks, I will keep you all in the loop

talaniman · Nov 11, 2011, 10:53 AM

His reactions don't matter. What matters is you leave him alone, and get your own life on a good path.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 11, 2011, 10:59 AM

If you do no contact you will not know what his reactions are, since you are not contacting him. This has nothing to do with HIM, this is for you to be able to get over him and move on

sweetsun717 · Nov 14, 2011, 07:49 AM

Long story short, he broke up with me because I was acting needy and didn't give him time to study. I was devastated because he was such a nice guy and treated me so well - but I wasn't nice to him and didn't do as many things for him as he did for me.

After the breakup, he told me that he still likes me and he is a very genuine person and doesn't lie. It has been 2 weeks since we broke up and we hang out for like 5 times - he contacted me just to say hi and whenever I contacted him, even when he was studying, he would come out and see me. He would look in my eyes, complimented my outfit, noticed the smallest changes on me, got jealous of other guys complimenting on me, carried me when my feet hurt, fed me while eating.. We were just like boyfriend and girlfriend when we hang out! But he told me that as of right now, he doesn't want a relationship because he has so much to study.

The semester is ending in about a month and I want him back. Should I continue hanging out with me and being a good friend? I am actually content of the way we hang out now (he obviously cares for me a lot) but I would like him to be more committed. At the same time, I am afraid if I be his good friend (maybe with benefits too), he would get too comfortable and not wanting to commit.

What should I do? Should I show him the new me - not needy, independent, and care for him? Or should I stop contact and act cold to let him miss me? I know the reason we broke up was mainly because he has too much study and I controlled him too much.

Help! Thanks!

talaniman · Nov 14, 2011, 02:42 PM

Hey if you don't mind being his option, and FWB when he has time, go for it.

Keep chasing, and impressing, and giving, and be happy with what you get back. He won't commit, he will take whatever you give him. If that's what YOU want.