[pie_broke_cies]

Okay. This is kind of a long story, but I will try to sum it up. All right, I'm 16 and I never considered myself to be attracted to girls until April 9, 2009. I was 14, and a freshmen. I had been hanging out with a friend a whole lot. She was a junior and she was bisexual. She always hugged me. Long, warm, caring hugs. And I don't know but she just acted differently around me than she did with other girls. (or so it seemed) and after we had been close for about four months or so we were at Arby's one day and she was talking to this guy she liked that worked there and talking about going to hang out with him. And then she was talking about graduating and I just broke out into tears out of nowhere. And she asked me what was wrong and I couldn't talk but finally I told her I didn't want her to leave me and she grabbed my arm and pulled me up from the chair and hugged me in the middle of Arby's for about 5 minutes and said "I'm never leaving you. If I go anywhere, I'll take you with me." and then I made her promise and she did. Ok so I realized that I thought I might "like" her. And I told her I did but I wasn't sure. And she told me not to worry until I was sure. Then I thought I was sure but I started dating a guy and she seemed to get jealous but then she said she didn't like me like that but she still flirted and called me babe and baby and stuff and then she said that she only said she didn't like me because I had a boyfriend and so then I broke up with him and she said she didn't like me. Finally, I told her she was sending off too many mixed signals and I really needed to know how she really felt and she said she didn't know. I tried and tried to get with her, but nothing worked. I felt like I was completely in love with her and I wrote about her all the time. Ok so since then I have had feelings for two other friends that are girls (or thought I did) but it never worked out. And here recently I fell for this new girl at my school. But I talked to my cousin about it and she said "I don't think you have feelings like that for girls. I really don't. I think you are mistaking it for a different love. Most bi people I know don't have sisters and you don't I think you are mistaking that love for like a love for your sister, if that makes sense. I also think you want love from anyone you can get it from even if its a girl especially because you never had that love from the woman that should have been in your life, your mom." so I started to believe her a little, and I thought I would change after that but my best friend said she would kiss me for my birthday because I've been wanting to kiss a girl for a while just to know what its like and my birthday was July and now its November and that's all I can think about. We just haven't had the chance yet. But like it feels a part of me wants to believe my cousin but the other part doesn't want to let go of having feelings for girls even though it always hurts me. I just don't know what to do or if my cousin is right. I'm just really confused. Sorry this is so long but if you read it all please help :/

[ITgeek]

Ok first breathe! Now... its sounds like you are confused. This is perfectly normal around your age and nothing to worry about. Sometimes we just feel a closeness with friends and its OK. Liking them, hugging them, and having warm feelings for them doesn't make you bisexual. You could just be an affectionate person. I wouldn't worry and I wouldn't rush anything just take things slow and learn what you are comfortable doing. No one can tell you what you are, you have to find your comfort level within and that determines if you are in fact bi-sexual. Right now if you are "bi" anything its bi-curious, you aren't bisexual unless you've had sex with both sexes! And trust me just because you like girls doesn't mean you will go all the way with one. So live in the moment, discover who you are and love yourself and the rest will come in time.