[Twill8177]

I have been through a few things with my husband and his cellphone. 1st, is the same number he has had for over 10 years, he has been with several females in the course of this cell phone number and it bugs me that some of his ex girlfriends call him whenever they choose. I did get mines change to show him that I will not allow any ex or any other guy come before my marriage but he seems to think I am trying to control him. I just want us to have a new beginnin, free from the access and danger of our ex;s calling us whenever they get good and darn ready to. Please help.

[cdad]

Why not let him keep the phone but you get full access to it. That way if any do contact him your aware of it.

[Wondergirl]

What happens when an ex calls him?

Does he ever call an ex?

[Cat1864]

It's not the cell phone number. It is your husband and the boundaries you need to set as a couple.

Changing his cell phone number won't stop someone who wants to contact him. Him being firm about when he takes calls and/or answers messages is another matter.

I am quoting a post you left in another thread. It sheds a bit more light on the situation and that it isn't just ex girlfriends but female friends in general including one who says she thinks of him as a father figure.

I am experiencing a similar situation. My husband does not hide his female friends, and the majority of them were invited to our wedding. I do have a problem with some women though. First it was this one young lady named Dee, she was determined to call, and text my husband using the excuse that he was like a father to her. They were only 5 years apart, but he said it was the way he carried his self at work that made her see him as a father figure. My thing is this, women seem to know what bothers them, and so to me, when they know their male friend is married, they don't take into consideration the wife. They will call when they want, and try to keep the friendship between your husband and them, as much as possible. I think that is unfair to the marriage. Even if you have been friends with the spouse long before he or she got married, I believe you must take into consideration that your male or female friend decided to marry someone else, and not you. Therefore, you must step back, and have more respect for the marriage, and also the spouse MUST put the husband or wife first. Otherwise, men and women, will try anything they can to cause friction in your marriage. My husband is very nonconfrontational, and I feel his female friends use that to their advantage. They try to exclude me as much as possible, and I feel my husband excuses their behavior for his own convenience. I talk to him about it and try not to get frustrated, and disrespectful, but sometimes I feel that I am talking to a brick wall and my feelings are the least of his concern.

People cannot cause friction in your marriage unless the two of you allow it. Sit down together and work out a compromise so that one of you isn't making demands or trying to control the other person. Work together as a couple because as long as you tell him what he should do, he is going to feel like you are trying to control him. It may not be how you see it or anywhere close to what is actually happening, but if it is his perception then he is going to balk.

Make certain that you are listening to him as much as you want him to listen to you. Communications in a marriage have to have the input of both partners to work. Don't forget to listen.