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sammiebabe7 · Oct 27, 2011, 06:12 PM

Well, I'm 15, and I have a lot of issues and painful past, and I feel like I can't talk to my parents because they don't listen or understand. I feel so sad, and I am so depressed, I have low self esteem and I hate myself, I needd someone to talk to, to help me, or to even listen. I got so much going through my head, and I want help, but not through therapist. I'm losing all my friends, I feel like I can't be myself, I hide the true me from everyone, I like to be alone, I just need help.. .

But I met this guy he is 21, I know it's a big age differences, but I love him, and I want to be with him, but I'm scared my parents won't allow it. I mean he is everything a girl could ask for. He has a 3 month old child cause his ex, didn't tell him that she was pregnant and he got stuck with the baby, and I feel as if he didn't keep the baby, then we wouldn't have met, but I need help. I'm so confused because everyone is telling me love don't matter, or you shouldn't be in love with someone that old, I mean I need help!

Fr_Chuck · Oct 27, 2011, 07:50 PM

It is not a matter of her not telling him, and he got "stuck" with a baby, it was a matter of him having sex with her and making her pregnant

You can not control how your emotions or hormones are going to kick in. If I could invent a way to control them I would be a rich man. So it is wrong to have feelings for him, no, that is not in your control.

But does he have feelings for you, beyond another sex partner, who is either under or right at legal age, perhaps another notch for his belt.

But you answered your own question, your parents would not allow, and that is where his legal troubles would just begin, And that is where you should have respect to honor their wishes.

4 years is nothing when you are 21 and he may be 25. But at 16 just a few years seems like a life time.

What is wrong with being yourself, yes if "friends" leave you because of it, were they really friends, or just people who hang around. There is a big difference.

Best friends have nothing to do with trying to pretend to be someone you are not, My best friend ( besides my wife , love you dear) is totally different from me, but we are friends because we are, not because of the way we are

Tell us what type of problems, what is going though your head, I may not always be online but there are several great people here who love to help

sammiebabe7 · Oct 27, 2011, 08:17 PM

well, I don't know my real daddy, and I been in foster care like 3 times and got separated from my older brother and younger brother, but we finally reunited,but the main thing that has gotten to me, is that my older brother liked the people he stayed with and wanted them to adopted him, so they did, and it hit me hard, and my family, but me the most, cause I was use to always looking up to him, or when I was younger he would always be there for me when there was a bad storm( hated thunderstorms) and now I feel bad, cause I have no one to look up to, and I feel as if its bad for my younger brother, because he has me to look up to, and I kind of have him to look up to, but then again I don't. And recently my step dad brother moved in with us( he has down syndrome) and we take care of him, but its so hard to under stand, because I feel like my parents give him more then they do me and my younger brother. Another thing is, school , like I feel ugly, and I know I shouldn't, but I do because I look in the mirror and see this ugly thing, and I ask myself y god made me and y did that one thing have to happen to me, its m=y I feel this way about myself, and I see other people and I'm like wow, god made them so very beautiful, wish I was like that, and I'm scared to be myself, because people at my school judge on a lot of things, and I'm scared if I do or wear or say something I shouldn't I'm going to get hurt, I'm just so sad, plus I just lost my best friend since 2nd grade in a car wreck and I feel horrible, I want to die, but then again I don't...

sammiebabe7 · Oct 28, 2011, 02:31 PM

So, he asked me to marry him... Is it too early? We've been together 6 months...

samm101 · Oct 28, 2011, 03:10 PM

Do you want to marry him?
6months is a bit fast considering the point of marriage is supposed to entail spending the rest of your lives together.
Ask yourself,are you ready for that commitment?

mmresd · Oct 28, 2011, 04:55 PM

YES, it does. Because you are so young that might even be confused about what love is. And not only that, but maybe not mature enough to realize whether your "perfect" partner is wanting, maybe you are in love, but what if he isn't? Be careful, wait a little longer before you start making decision as such, not only that, but you can get him in trouble by the law if you were to have sex with him. Whether you are trying to or not.

odinn7 · Oct 28, 2011, 05:55 PM

So wait a minute here... yesterday you were asking if it's OK for you and a 21 year old guy to be in love... now today you're asking this? What's going on?

Yesterdays Question

Fr_Chuck · Oct 28, 2011, 06:01 PM

How have you "been together" how many dates have you been on ? You are 15 and he is 21, assuming this is the same guy.

Has your parents given you permission to get married ?

How many times has he visited at your home with you and your parents

sammiebabe7 · Oct 28, 2011, 06:35 PM

I'm so confused, I mean I want to marry him, but no one wants me to because of his age, and its not like I'm going to marry him in 2 years, I want to wait and he knows that, I love him, but I'm not for sure if it's a good idea.. I know its confusing, but he hasn't met my parents/..

Fr_Chuck · Oct 28, 2011, 06:57 PM

So wait, he is not as you said, going to marry you this year or next year, and unless you are actually in a real relationship, ( note you did not answer anyone's question on the level of your current dating) ( or what your parents think of you dating)

Mrs.Monster · Oct 28, 2011, 07:54 PM

Hey I know what you mean I'm have the same problem ( I'm 15 also) just send me a message and we can talk :) ill probably be able to understand a little more than the adults on here... (just saying)
Hope to hear from you,
Mrs.Monster

answerme_tender · Oct 28, 2011, 08:02 PM

If your confused on marrying him then the answer is simple--DON'T.

J_9 · Oct 28, 2011, 08:21 PM

Considering that you are having hard times at home, and you are only 15...

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...me-607408.html

Yes, it is too early for marriage. It appears that you are looking for love to replace something you are missing in your life. That is not the way to start a marriage.

Also, considering the fact that he is 21, this could be illegal and he could be labeled a sex offender for the rest of his life should you have sex at your age.

talaniman · Oct 29, 2011, 02:45 PM

Age is more than just a number, it's the difference whether he can go to jail for messing with a minor.

Age doesn't matter when you are an adult and are responsible for your actions.

There is no such thing as being stuck with a baby. And if you know your parents will not approve then don't do it, or there will be consequences. For you, and him.

ScottGem · Oct 29, 2011, 03:53 PM

Originally Posted by sammiebabe7

He has a 3 month old child cause his ex, didn't tell him that she was pregnant and he got stuck with the baby,

How do you know this? Just because it is what he told you? Do you happen to know how old the ex is?

Also, based on your other posts, you have known this guy 6 months but your parents don't know about him. So you are sneaking behind your parents back. Not a good start to a relationship.

From your other posts you are having a hard time at home. I suspect you are looking to replace what you lack at home and you really don't know what love is.