[ilani93]

Last year I just broke up with this guy who I've been going out with for 3 years, and it was the worst relationship I've ever been in. There was a lot of sadness, cheating more than once from him sleeping with other girls, negativity, physical, and verbal abuse. Well I finally broke up with him for good, because I just had enough and was finally strong enough to let go of the relationship even though it should've been easier to let go of considering all he's put me through.

But it wasn't.. anyway.. so months later I met this guy. He's absolutely perfect and everything I've ever wanted in a guy. He then asked me out. He shows me everyday what real love is like. He treats me like a princess and takes care of me and just treats me the way every girl should be treated.

Well as the relationship continued I started treating him like crap and showing him no appreciation or respect but not meaning to hurt him it just happened. I started realizing it once he showed me that it was hurting him but for some reason I continued to be the way I was. I felt like I had no control over the way I was. I'm not sure if it has to do with my past relationship but I don't understand why I treat him the way I do. The way I make him feel is the way my ex use to make me feel. And I don't understand why I'm doing this. I tell myself everyday to change into a better person and show him you care before you loose a good guy but its hard to change knowing you've turned into the same person as your ex.

I was like that for 3 yrs and now that I have someone good in my life I'm ruining everything! What do I do?

[mmresd]

You stop.

I would write more, but that is all you need to do. Just don't do it. If you do it, he will leave for good, control yourself.

[talaniman]

Most people I know take years of hard work, and counseling, to recover from an abusive relationship. I think that's what you need some counseling to guide you through the healing process, that you seem to have skipped when you found a safe place after you finally left this boob of an ex.

Without the right help, most that are abused, can become abusive themselves.

Get some help for yourself. Learn how to think twice or 3 times before you act, or speak.

[vanheart]

Look to the good things in your life, the ones that make you happy.
Regardless.

You already know your last thing sucked. For whatever reasons.

Just don't repeat them & carry your crap into another relationship.
Healing requires work. Ideally before you get w/someone else. But...

Don't chase a good man away, because your act isn't together.

Be honest with yourself & him. Maybe its too early.

All depends on what is important to us & fixing ourselves.

What we want, how we live, and taking responsibility for that.

Ive been very discerning, believe me.
I don't ever want to make the same mistakes.

[Qwerasdfzxcv]

You just stupid.. Not in a mean way.. I'm just saying you find a good guy and you want to hurt him like you were hurt hun there is not enough good guys out there get ahold of yourself before he walks out the door

[vanheart]

"The way I make him feel is the way my ex use to make me feel"
Start there.

Get over your ex. Discover yourself before you get involved. That's a given.

Otherwise? What do we have to offer? Pain? Baggage? Resent? Confusion? Same old? Ewww...

Its OK. We all go through that. Me included.

Take a breather.